Helpful People Help People

Being your best self is something you should strive for no matter how long it takes. Greatness takes time and all factors matter when you when you trying to hone your skills to live a life your happy with and proud of. On the episode Raymundo is joined by Sam Curtis who specializes in helping people become their natural best self as a life coach. Always learning new ways to help her clients , she shares some methods that could help you start being a better you today.

Special guest: Sam Curtis
Website: https://www.sam-curtis.com/
Coaching Website:
https://insighttimer.com/sam.curtis.coaching
LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/sam-curtis-life-coach-problem-solver/


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Transcript

0:18

Year year, year, year. It's your host. Raimundo. Welcome to my show. Where we relate. Learn. And have some fun in the process. This is episode 48. Helpful people help people. I know, y'all heard the saying hurt. People, hurt people. But this is the opposite. Obviously right. But general how we do things let's go Let's go let's go. It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it'd be creating joy for others. Sharon, what we have for the betterment of a person kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely. By Leo.

Malcom: 1:12

Buscaglia

1:13

this call his home because. I found the way to be better. And when I find the way to be better, I want to share it with whoever wants to listen. And. Yeah, I want to. Do the things I want to do and accomplish. And. Live my dreams and hit all my goals. well, part of that is. To help people in the process. Like my family, my friends. And those that. Can hear me speak. Say a joke. Laugh. And it can make a difference in their day. this is what I'll do it for these episodes always start off with me learning something new. That can help me and then I can share it with you. And I feel like. Yeah, you feel good when you get things, but you know, you feel better. When you give, especially when you don't. Expect nothing in return. And another version of helping, right? It's like if you're a therapist, life coach, Personal trainer. Mentor teacher. You play an important role in someone's life because we all need guidance. You know what I mean? Like. The teachers had a teacher. The past I had a pastor. The person, you know, At the highest level. Had guidance from someone on the higher level. And when you're able to balance the tool when helping people and making the living. Like it's one of the most beautiful things. You can ask for. Because at that point, you no longer working. Yeah. you're doing your craft, what you love and what you love is inspiring and helping other people. Or. Getting people in better positions than they were then before they met you, right? Because every person that you meet. Plays a role in your life. And it may not be for the whole time. But. Sometimes. The lesson that they teach you. I can take you to the next chapter in the next chapter of your life. Where you be able to be the best you. But with that said, let's get into the episode.

Raymundo: 3:00

On the Raymundo Show, we always find the ways to help ourselves help others. But first it starts with you. There's, there's been times we spoke about having a mentor or just having someone you can talk to, but there's also people that. Give you steps, give you guidance to free your mind from limiting beliefs and put you in the mindset that you can do it. And on the Rabu No show, I have a special guest who specializes in that. You know, sometimes we feel stuck, sometimes we can't get over our head, and we need somebody with the right words to balance everything out. But let's give a warm welcome to

Sam Curtis: 3:53

Hi. It's so lovely to be

Raymundo: 3:55

here. welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. So happy to have you here. Yeah let's start off by telling the people, my listeners what you currently do and where you from.

Sam Curtis: 4:07

Absolutely. I love it. So I'm Sam. I live in the UK just outside of London, for those that care. Oh, and I, I help people be their natural best, which basically means my job title is Life Coach, which Nice doesn't really encompass and scares people, but I think helping people be their natural best is probably the shortest way I can describe

Raymundo: 4:29

it. Oh, that's, that's awesome. And you, an important word you said is natural. You know, you want to be, you don't want to be artificial with it, you know, you want to be as natural, you as possible. So, cuz you know, some of those mental hiccups or stressful days come from trying to impress people or worrying about what other people think. But when it's just you and you forgive yourself, it makes it easier.

Sam Curtis: 4:56

beautifully shred. Absolutely

Raymundo: 4:59

so, how is it out there? You said you're in London, right?

Sam Curtis: 5:01

Just outside of, yeah.

Raymundo: 5:02

What time is it over there right now?

Sam Curtis: 5:04

It is about half four. Gosh, that's not a good sign. Yeah. Half

Raymundo: 5:08

four. Well, I just wanted to bring that up. Cause originally when we were setting this up, I really thought it was five o'clock my time and I was like so excited. I was, the whole day was revolved around it and then it hit me. I was like, wait a minute, does she mean five o'clock her time? And I looked in the message and I said, oh, okay. But we made it happen, which is most important. It happens, right?

Sam Curtis: 5:35

Oh, absolutely. I work with clients all over and I'm constantly questioning the time zone. I'm like, where are they based? Have I got it right? Because obviously that's totally on me. I can't not shop for a client session So I felt so awful when we miscommunicated it because I was like, oh no. But I'm so glad to be

Raymundo: 5:52

here man, you tha thank you. Were so great about it. So you have clients all over the world? Us? Yeah. Oh,

Sam Curtis: 5:59

okay. Yeah, I love it. I, that has been the blessing of the pandemic is that people feel, whether they understand it or not, they feel safer on camera now. So you can do virtual coaching, which wasn't a thing before. All of my coaches prior to the pandemic were face-to-face. And so being able to take my business online, having to take my business online during the pandemic, meant that it opened up. You know, I worked with businesses and they had offices in LA and they'd be like, we've got some people over there. I'd be like, great, send them to me when we meet online. People are comfortable with this medium now. You know, to sit in front of video before was a strange thing. It was for certain people, like, you know, a conference cause of big deal and if it had a video in it. Whereas now we're all doing it all the time, you know, WhatsApp calling our friends and things like that. And so it feels so natural. So people initially feel like, oh my God, I can't do this virtually. And then they realize, actually, yeah, I can, like, it's the same, it's their connection is still there. So, yeah, it's been amazing. I love working with people all over.

Raymundo: 6:59

To be, and to be able to help people from the comfort of your own home is a super plus.

Sam Curtis: 7:05

Oh, It certainly saves on an office Bill

Raymundo: 7:08

Yeah, definitely. Right? that could get pretty pricey nowadays, especially with inflation. Oh yeah.

Sam Curtis: 7:14

most definitely. So, yeah, I'm very, very grateful that I moved

Raymundo: 7:17

online. when you speak to people, you gotta pay attention to the words. They use. Words like grateful, you know? Well, amazing. Great. these words define your day. So it's important. I did an episode called Words power of the word Word is bond, actually, but it was about the power of the word. And like, you know, words shape our reality. So, you know, you being a, a life coach, you know, these words are getting people. results and changes, which is what they come to you in the first place for, which is amazing. So, and I wanted to give you my personal experience. So I bought about three life coaching to get certified. And I really wanted to do it just because I was so mentally down. I learned how to pick myself up and I always been the type to be like, I'm like a teacher man. I didn't realize that. Like, I love, once I learned something, I want to teach you, I want you to utilize what I found and, and make it your own so it can work for you. And before I went about it the wrong way, but I never finished the certificate cuz they was, they were like, well the, the one I picked was boring. Yeah. The teacher he was pretty boring. But he was, but it was great information and it just, I just never got around to it. But it's something that I'm like, I want my life to be a little bit better. To give people better advice. Like, I wanna say, you know, I'm following everything. I mean, I know we, it is not, you can't do everything. Nobody's perfect. But at least enough to where I could be like, okay, I do my stuff enough. So, but what led you to to being a life coach?

Sam Curtis: 8:42

It's something I've always done. So I tell this story quite often. At the moment, I was about 13. I was in school, we were in the pe changing rooms probably after a game of rugby or something, whatever the teachers had put us through that day. And we're all, you know, it's a bunch of girls getting changed at the end of the lesson. And one girl who came, comes up to me and I, I wasn't her friend. We were, we had 300 in my year, so I knew of her cause we were in the same year, but we weren't friends. And she came up to me and she started going on about something and I don't remember, I don't remember what we said and then I just stopped, went. Yeah, well that's completely like, you completely, you. Just a brush off comment, you know, like, and she just stopped and she's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, well, you are this, this, this. And just kind of rolled out some of her personality. Again, we weren't friends, I just knew her from being in the same school year. Mm-hmm. And she was like, what what? How do you know me? Like, you know, proper teenager, kind of, you know, you're probably getting ready to fight me. I was not aware And she was like, how can you do that? And I just said, put me in a room with anyone for half an hour and I can tell you their deep stucker thoughts. And I didn't know it at third uni that, that that was a skill that I personally had. I thought everyone could do it right. I just, I've always been able to get to know people really closely and understand what drives them, what makes them them. And I just assumed like so many of us with our talent, We get born with them. We don't know that other people don't have that skill. Right? Yeah. And it's not till we grow up and go older and start experiencing the world in different ways that we start to realize, oh, people don't think like this. Oh, this isn't how this works. Is there a job for that? Like, how do I utilize this? How can I then hone it? Right? Because I noticed you said you want to expand, which I think is beautiful. And so you can give the best advice. Coaching's not about giving advice. I never ever tell someone what to do. I help them answer their own question. That's the skill in coaching. I don't need to have done what they've done. I have worked with lawyers, doctors, people in finance, university students, which to be fair, I was one, but you know, people are doing like amazing degrees that I could never do. you know, engineers, like all of these different fields that are fascinating, but I couldn't do, but it doesn't matter that I have no idea how you build a railway, right? Because they know how to build a railway. What they don't know is how to understand their thoughts and feelings, and that's where I come in. So I never tell anyone what to do. I help them figure out their own answers, and it's so much fun.

Raymundo: 11:20

wow, that was beautiful. That was beautiful. That was like, wow. Like, it, it, you changing my mind. I'm like, I'm about, I'm, I'm gonna finish those certifications. I'm because if I could do that, like, yeah, I always thought about it as something about giving advice, but I have a friend that will never, I go through something. she doesn't give me advice. She asks me questions and I answer them. And to the point where like, I have a therapist, right? But my friend gives me as much advice, or probably better than the therapist, but I still have both of them. I, you know, shout out to my therapist. She's great, but it's crazy how asking questions is such a, a crucial part of finding out so much about you. And you don't even think it's that simple as a why. You know, like, why did you do this? Why did you do that? questions come in different forms. But I just think it's amazing that it's almost that simple a question. But then, but when you're in question, you can't even think about that. Or you thinking about you want the solution, you want the advice that's gonna change the everything you want, the quick fix. You want the limitless pill? No, you gotta become it and it will happen. So, love, attraction,

Sam Curtis: 12:34

It certainly does. It certainly takes time. And I wish, I wish there was one question, I'd charge a million pounds for it and I'd be very rich and it would solve everyone's problems. But I don't, I don't charge anywhere near that amount of money. never And I don't have one question. I, there's not one fix, there's not one way of doing it. It is unique to you. Mm-hmm. And we've all got to find the right questions at the right time from the right people. So having a mix of friends and family, your therapist, your, you know, your friend that talks to you and asks you those questions, she could say the exact same thing your therapist said, but because it came from her, it could hit home in a completely different way. And that's part of being human, that's part of going through the process, as you say, of becoming what you want to be.

Raymundo: 13:20

Wow. I mean, I, I'm gonna be honest, I've been blessed. To really choose the right guests. I don't mean to rhyme, but it happens sometime. Usually like I get 15 minutes in and the guests say something that's like, wow, this is, this is why I wanted them on the show. I gotta stop being so repetitive and redundant, but this is amazing. I just wanna just thank you It's awesome. Like, I'm like, I'm about to you, about to be my life coach Sign up

Sam Curtis: 13:48

Excellent. More than

Raymundo: 13:50

but, but I won't speak to you more than 20 minutes cuz I don't want you to get into the 30 and know all my detoxy

Sam Curtis: 13:59

That is actually a real big fear people have. Like when I mentioned that I'm a life coach, I kind of touched it on a little bit at the beginning, but when I mentioned that I'm a life coach, one with family and older, you know, the older generation. Yeah. There's just like a, a. Sorry. A what? A what job. You know, like a proper just, nah and they, they don't even want to embrace it. Like, you know, it's not a thing, it doesn't exist. I'm finding more and more people, oh, go on.

Raymundo: 14:28

No, no, no, go ahead. No, I don't, I don't, I don't interrupt. Sorry. You, you speaking magic right now.

Sam Curtis: 14:34

Whereas younger generations particularly, you know, I think I'm just in a millennial, I think I'm just about a millennial, if you're gonna use that. So Gen Zs and Ys and all of that stuff, they are much more receptive. The term. They've heard a lot, you know, self-help has been around a long time, so they're really receptive to it. But they often will react with a sense of fear. There's this kind of misconception that it's gonna be like therapy that I'm just gonna like, dig and pick until I find their biggest wounds, their biggest trauma to use a buzzword, you know, and I'm just gonna make them feel all this stuff that they don't wanna feel. because feeling our feelings are scary. We're not trained to do that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so I do have to do that with clients. I do train them to feel their feelings, but my job, first and foremost is to solve the problem they want solved. And how we go about that is 100% in the client's control. So if I go down an avenue that I think has a, you know, a relevance, so I ask a question about something and they're like, no, and they'll tell me through both their verbal cues and their fit body language, we'll go down a different path. We'll find a different way to come at that belief or that whatever, that story, that pattern, because they're in control. It isn't about pulling things apart, right? I'm here to build you up, not break you down.

Raymundo: 15:55

Well, until you indestructible

Sam Curtis: 15:59

I did

Raymundo: 16:02

Alright man. That's, and that's awesome. Cause you know, everybody says, everyone says that they love helping people but not everybody goes about it or knows really what to do and to find, you know, a sweet spot where it's, it's balance and, you're the reason why people are able to be happy that they're themselves. I know it's not the whole thing, but it's, even if you just a part of it, whatever percentage it is, you're a part of it. And the reason why I'm great is because there's been other people that have been a part of my greatness and that we don't realize that, we came in here alone, but you know, once we got here, being social is, is part of good health and. Being around people that's gonna build you up and root for you, be your fan, you know, regardless what you do. Even if, if you trying to rap and your rhymes are horrible, but they know that you love it. all that matters, you know, how were your friends and family when you told'em, Hey look, this is what I do now.

Sam Curtis: 17:00

Um, I, so I have done many different jobs since I graduated So I always say to people, I'm a parent's worst nightmare, Cause you know, a parent still wants you to, you know, graduate, get a job, stand it for 40 years, retire and you know, have a nice, safe life. I haven't done that. I have changed jobs because I was searching for me, that's the way I look at it. I was searching for who I was and I had to go through all of those to experience what mattered to me and figure out my values. So I took the really long way. I took the, you know, at least 10 years of trying different things to figure out my values rather than doing it a quicker way. but I wouldn't change that for the world. My family are now, I'm a couple of years into running my business. Took me a little bit of time to build up the courage. So I was a teacher in the uk. And to, you know, the pandemic was sort of the push, the, the courage to be like, right, I'm gonna do this, this is, this is it. Now I, and I've been doing it on the side for like seven years, but it was like, right, I'm gonna do this all in. But it had taken me a lot of courage to get there. And they were reticent. There was a, you know, there was a, they wanted me to stay safe. And friends were like encouraging. I coached a lot of my friends, right? They were my, some of my first clients, some of my best clients, and they would refer me to their friends, which is kind of how it grew. Which is amazing. They'd even get me into their businesses. So if they work for big companies, they talk to their HR departments on my behalf and things like that. So friends have been incredibly supportive cuz I guess it's a generational thing. Family have have been supportive but wary, which is understandable. And my course, of course, my partner. Yeah, my partner has been my biggest fan from day one. He shows up to everything and he is there and he hates it because I'll have client sessions and I'll be buzzed cuz I'll just, you know, they've just done something else amazing and we're rough and I'm like, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm on the roof. Like, yeah, this is amazing. And, and he's like, God, why? Tell me, tell me. And I'm like, confidentiality, can't Cause he's always like, he feels the energy and he wants to be involved. He's

Raymundo: 19:12

sorry I can't tell you

Sam Curtis: 19:13

natural anything, but it's amazing. They're doing amazing. I'm so proud of them,

Raymundo: 19:19

Oh, that's great to know. Cause if someone wants to sign up, be like, I know. She won't even tell her partner. Like, that's, that's how serious she takes this, which is awesome. Oh man. That's awesome. Getting that support. And it's true you say like the, the older generation seeing people make money off something like that. They could do everything themselves. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like that that time is just, you know, everything is about working hard, but, you know, we in the era of a little bit of balance, yeah. Work hard, but work a little smart too. So I want to congratulate you on another great word, courage cuz courage meant you were fearful but you still did it and, and believed you. You went on more of the belief side than the scare side and now you're doing it full-time. I'm, and I'm sure you're loving it cuz again, the great balance, great work life balance, right?

Sam Curtis: 20:09

Yeah, absolutely. I am my own worst nightmare though, because you can always do more, right? And if you've spoken Tony entrepreneurs and things, you know that this is the classic thing cuz there's always more you can do. So every hour in the day can count and then I'm there going burnout. Let's slow down. Let's talk about the seven types of rests. Now let's, how can we bring rest into your life? And then I'm there at two in the morning like, So you've gotta be careful cuz it's like, I know what to do and I still don't always do it.

Raymundo: 20:38

that's true. It's like, especially in entrepreneurship, you never want to feel like you did nothing. But no matter how much you do, it feels like you did nothing. And then when you see your results, you be like, oh wow, I did a hundred of this and a hundred of that and I did this and that. I'm like, wow. You know, sometimes you gotta take a, like, take a break and give yourself credit. But it's hard to, when you're like, you have a specific goal in mind and it hasn't been reached until it's reached. I can't fully. Like I, I feel like I, I can't give myself full credibility. I do a little, little small, you know, small victories, but not too crazy.

Sam Curtis: 21:11

Reflection is key for

Raymundo: 21:12

that. Sorry. That's another one. Another one. Boom. No, no, the wrong one. Wrong, wrong. Reflection is so key. Like people don't understand like, it, it is not like you just gonna, like a, a song's gonna come on. Then you're just gonna reflect. Cuz the song's on, like, you gotta really make time for it. Journal, write it down. There's something about putting, it's, there's something that typing can do, text can do, but writing it's a art form. It's it's mind connected to your hand, connected to your soul, your thoughts. And it's, it's an amazing thing to do, especially when you're trying to make things clear. Do you journal. I'm

Sam Curtis: 21:49

not big on journaling. I, I, I am as to clients, I tell clients to trade out, but I'm, it's, it's, I'm dyslexic, so I find the written word quite scary. Always have, just didn't really know I was dyslexic till I was in my twenties, and, and it's sort of all made it a bit clearer. So spelling and things are issue for me. So I, I think for me personally, journaling is quite, I've still got that little bit of reticence. I do something called release writing, which is really good for clients as well, or for everyone. Cause that's really good, a way of releasing emotions and that's pent to paper and that doesn't require grammar. It doesn't require reading over, it's just get it down on paper. Just move, basically move the energy through the body to release the emotion. I can explain how that works if you want me

Raymundo: 22:33

to. Oh, of course. Yeah, that sounds, that sounds fun. Very interesting.

Sam Curtis: 22:38

Cool. So release rating is a technique. I think I learnt it from Christine Hassler when I did some training of hers. She's a great life coach. And it's where you get a scrap piece of paper. Cuz as I say, you ain't reading this over again. This is going in the bin, or you're burning it right when you're done. Okay? And you set a timer for two minutes and then you hit go. And at the top of that bit of paper, you write, I'm feeling, and then whatever. Emo, emotional, sad, angry, frustrated, fed up like a failure, right? And then write and try and keep up with your brain is the way I say it to clients, right? Mm-hmm. Cause we're overthinkers with most of my clients. So trying to, you're never gonna, so most of it won't even make sense because by the time you've written that word, your brain's three words ahead. And then you've just gotta try and keep up. It's gonna be illegible and lots of places, it's probably not gonna be on the lines. It doesn't matter. You're just physically moving that emotion through your arm, as you said, out of your brain, through your body, and out your arm onto a bit of paper. Timer goes off, scrunch it up, chuck it away, burn it, whatever you want. It just needs to go. And the reason you do it for two minutes is because there's a lot of research that says it takes 90 seconds for the body to process an emotion. So an emotion I describe as energy in motion. So it's the physical symptoms we get in the body. A feeling is what we label it. So that's how I decipher, right? So emotion is just what's happening. Feeling is the brain trying to make sense of what's happening, which is why anxiety and excitement are the same, right? If you think about when you're anxious, you got butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, and your heart rate's increased. Mm-hmm. when you're excited, your heart rate increased. You've got butterflies in your stomach and you've got sweaty palms, right? It's a, a brain that decides based on other data. So when have I been here before? What happened last time? And it uses all these data points to create the feeling I'm anxious or I'm feeling excited. Right. So we wanna physically move the emotion from the body because if we allow the friend to catch on, it finds lots of other times that we felt scared or sad or emotional and keeps playing them around. So the physical sensations restart, and every time we find another story, the emotions kick up again. Right? So by stopping and giving it two minutes, 90 seconds as to say two minutes, I think, just cuz you need a bit of buffer time is it's to release that so that your brain can't do the stories again and you're free of the emotion.

Raymundo: 25:07

Wow. That's a powerful, powerful exercise. I'm a, I'm gonna have to put that in my book, Wow. Cause it's like, you're basically it is like a form of protection right Before there's a system that goes in place for you to give, you know, give energy to, to the bad thoughts, right? Where they recycle and they, I, I'm, there's a guy named Joe Des Spencer, he talks about that like, when you stress, you're living in a memory of, of the past cuz your brain is just reliving it, even though it's a different situation, it just remembers what it did last time. So, and to write something, to kind of, to prevent that process from me even getting there. Like, that's, that's amazing. Like definitely write it down ladies and gentlemen, this is a very, very helpful, this is the helpful And

Sam Curtis: 25:55

if I could just add, sorry, of, if I could just add. I've done a, I've done a blog post on this, but, so people can go to that if they wanna reference it. I'll send you the link if you need it, but of course, don't just assume like me, cuz writing for me isn't, isn't to say, isn't my thing, right? So don't just assume that just writing it will work. If you want to paint, paint, if you want to color or scribble, fine, right? Some people respond really well to written word and want that is the best way. So I'd always suggest starting with that. But I've had clients who are massively into art. Instead of facing their feelings, like through written word, I've had them do big paintings or whatever size they want of anger, sadness, excitement, frustration, so that they're physically moving the emotion and living the emotion and having a different perspective on. And you can do it through music. If you are, if you know, if you're into music, if you rap right, you can yeah, you can do it for song lyrics. Just don't overthink it too much. Right? It's not about making it perfect, it's about doing it for that two minutes. So get a bit of paper scribble. If art is your thing, get your guitar and just make up a song for two minutes. That will be probably gibberish. But if it, if it helps physically move the emotion, that'll give you that sense of clarity

Raymundo: 27:14

and I can add that to it. Record yourself letting everything out if you don't want to do anything like that. Right. Record yourself. Let it out. Say you're this, say you're that. I mean, podcasting is, is also therapy for me is not only, I love to do it, it's literally like I'm always pumped after I feel like I went to the gym for like an hour and a half and I took a pre-workout when I finished, you know? So, I just feel like what everything you said, I feel like yo taking art cuz writing, painting, talking, all that art. it helps you get in tune with you and it's a powerful, powerful thing to do. I, I did a, after the episode after You is, it's about art. I had an artist there and we spoke about that so much. So this is like a perfect way to It's a nice segue. I love it. Of course. But so what was the process like of becoming a life coach? Because again, I'm still I still want to do it and I wanna make sure that I'm like legit. I don't want to just sign up to these courses that they pop up because my phone is listening to everything I say and it wants to recycle what I want to, what I want to get into. So,

Sam Curtis: 28:18

yeah, this is a really difficult one because it's an unregulated industry, so there is no one right way of becoming a life coach. You could just tomorrow turn around and go, I'm a life coach and start charging people for it. Wow. There is no, you know, there's a lot of skill involved, but nothing is regulated. So we do have, like the International Coaching Federation, I'm a member of association for coaches or coaching you know, so that will, that have requirements. They have certain training levels, certain number of hours worked with clients, both paid and unpaid. So there are governing, not governing bodies, that's not correct, but associations, groups of people that have started to try and start regulating or at least providing some structure that's awesome to the industry, which I think is important. And I don't think it's the be all and end or what title someone has at the moment because certain people will have gone and paid 10,000 pounds to do the ultimate training. But that's the ultimate training by that one provider's viewpoint, which was probably a coach before. Right. Mm-hmm. So there's, there's not an established history yet with the industry, so get to know the coach. If you're looking for a coach, get to know them. I offer, like most other good coaches, a free first session, right? How are you gonna know if I'm any good to coach if I don't coach you? Right. Exactly. A simple way, right? Proof is in the pudding. I'll help you out. You leave with some tools. If you want to come back, great. If you don't, I fully respect that. So, just to jump back to your question, you know, there isn't a correct way yet that, that's coming. Everyone believes it'll be the International Coaching Federation that will end up being the main governing body because it's such a rapidly increasing environment. as I say, I'm a member of the Association for Coaching, and that's a UK based one. But I say uk, they ha all of them are international, but mm-hmm. they, I think they started in the UK or something. So I have a bit more of affinity with them. So look out for things like that and do the training that inspires you. Like I, I'm doing training at the moment in positive psychology. I've done, I wanna do my somatic training. I've done a load of work with somatic coaches myself, and I'm learning more about the, well, I know quite a lot about the nervous system in Polyvagal before, but, but I've learned even more from my own experiences. So that's training that I want to do next. I'm constantly learning something new. And so do what interests you at the time, because you'll find that the clients naturally gravitate to you on the area that you're working on or have just worked on. Right. Because it's the energy you give up.

Raymundo: 30:48

That's awesome. And it's good though. And I, I, on my research, I, I saw the I heard about the organization you just spoke about. You just said it. Yeah. That, that one. And they were saying that, that they make sure you have like 300 hours in training. I know it was like around that number, but, which I feel like. someone. I don't feel like it really matters if it's super accredited or not. Like someone's, it takes 10,000 hours to make you a mess of something and 300 hours is not a little bit of hours. And then not to mention all the hours they put on their time. And what matters is that they can help you. Which you giving me that to me. Like, damn, maybe I can start coaching before I get to where I wanna be. Cuz I know how to help people. I know I even me not being where I want to be, I always get that type of you know, those type of comments. Man, if you didn't speak to me about this, if you didn't tell me about this and I, I was like, you even from younger, I remember, I was like 16, I had this breakup and I took it bad. I'm talking about, I went to school with my clothes wrinkle. I didn't even brush my hair. Like I was just, but then I got through it. I used to go to the counselor in school. I talked to her all the time. Eventually I got better. I cut my hair, I bought new clothes and, and then I became Ray, the counselor. I just literally like offered my help to anyone that was going through a breakup cuz I got through it. So then I was trying to help everyone get through it. And I, that's from 16 I can remember doing it as a kid, like if someone, if I knew someone was, you know, was making, being made fun of or needed to talk, I would be like, you know what, what's the problem? Like, I've always, even asking people that you have no business asking, I just, sometimes I, I can't help it. So, I I'm not gonna allow to be in that field that you're in to be doing that to, for that to be part of what I'm doing now with the podcasting and I'm trying to get into cartoons and voiceovers. It would be a great combination. Yeah.

Sam Curtis: 32:34

And you have a skill already, like, I imagine you have a lot more though already coaching from everything you're saying. But you've already demonstrated one to me since we've been on the call, which is the ability to reflect that language. Right. As a coach, we are constantly scanning for other information. The words they use are part of it, but how they say it when they say it, what pauses were around it? What's their body doing? as they say it, right. What are their hands doing as they say it? And you have an ability to reflect that language, which is huge because people don't even know the words they're using half, half the time is being generous. You know, most of the time calling people on their language is a key part of being a coach and giving them that, that awareness. And you, you've done that already today.

Raymundo: 33:21

Oh, thank you so much. As you're saying, I'm like being aware of my fingers and my shoulders. I'm like, am I, you know, am my postures okay? Don't worry,

Sam Curtis: 33:28

I'm not in coach mode. We're not in a coaching session. I am obviously. It's like I used to be a professional actress. For a period of time, I, I went all in and was like, I'm doing that. That was one of my many jobs. And everyone used to be like, oh, well how can I trust that you're not acting now, It's like, cause I'm not on set and you're not paying me Like, what? Stupid question. But I get the same as a coach. Like, oh well. Oh God, I bet not say that. Cause you'll read something into that. I was like, I am, my brain is off I know that's a skillset that, that takes energy. Like when I'm in a session, like you say, when you do a podcast, it, it feels like a workout, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because I am constantly scanning, constantly looking. I'm doing everything to get the most out of the session for my clients, but I'm outside of it. I'm resting, I'm recovering

Raymundo: 34:19

Right. I'm still human. I, I mean just, that's the thing I. People should take off that perfection. Don't have problem. Like therapists need therapists, life coaches need life. Yeah. Like barbers need barbers and doctors need doctors and so on and so on. So absolutely. But I Man, I appreciate that. But I, I would briefly like to talk about your acting though. Cause that's another field that's like a dream of mine and I don't want to get into it. I don't wanna be a big movie star. I just want to have a role that I can consistently get. But what kind of, what kind of roles did you do

34:51

The equity. More Mundo after this commercial break. Was good. Yeah. I'm proud and happy to announce that. All three Patrion tears is up. Each with its own. Per can benefit. You want more moon? No, you get more mono. virtual version. I tried to be a little bit reserved. You know, on the regular platforms. But each. T it puts you more in depth. With who I am and where I'm at to go. So. Sign up to the show. Go to www.patrion.com. A forward slash the Raimundo show. Sign up is pretty easy. yeah. And I'll see you there don't just meet me there. Greet me So Snoop dog But anyway back to the show

Sam Curtis: 35:34

most of it? Honestly, I was a 20 something, you know, white brown haired, brown-eyed girl. Right. I was, was 20, I was young. Uhhuh I was average looking, you know, which means all the auditions I went to, I went with all the same. Right. It is the key time everyone is trying to break it into the industry. Yeah. And so I can't, nothing to write home about is the underst sir. but I managed to make half my living out of it and then half my living running events. Right. So, but that's the nature of the industry. It is, gosh, it's been so long since I've been in it. It's very cold. It's very who, you know. Yes. Obviously I'm talking about London. I'm not talking about, I didn't do LA or the US or anything I'm talking about mm-hmm. London. And it's, at that age in particular, it's really nasty. It's quite, because everyone's so competitive because it's their next meal, it's the, you know, it's the dream to break in and, and, you know, getting a commercial advert like a commercial for boots, it's not gonna make or break it. It's gonna give, it's gonna put some money in the bank, which is great, but it's not gonna make or break your career. It's not gonna suddenly land you as the next minor Granger. Right. But that's what everyone in there is trying to do. Right. And it's nasty. It's, if you excuse my language, it's bitchy. Particularly I guess from the women's side rather than the gens And it just wasn't the energy I wanted to be a part of. And so, you know, I admire those people that do it. I still, I still do bits of extra work when I get time because I love the energy of being on set, but it's, it's so much better now that I'm not trying to make my money from it that it's, oh, I could go do that, that's fine. Because, cause I'm not, I'm not trying to put myself in front of the directors. I'm not trying to be the uber keen helpful one that, oh, I'll do that. I'll do just drives the mat because they won't know your name. They will never see you again. And that is unfortunately just the way it works. They, the directors do not choose their actors. That is not how it works. There are hundreds of people behind the scenes in any product. And so it is who you know. And if you've got the right agency, they can get you through that door that's gonna make a difference. Doesn't mean you'll land it, but being on set doesn't mean you'll be on set the next time. It's shame. I'm sorry it's not uplifting, but it's true.

Raymundo: 37:47

No, no, no. It's the truth. We love the truth. You know, we can handle the truth. you gotta be able to handle the truth cuz then you be living a lie. So, I feel like it was a great perspective to right. I'd rather do it when I know my businesses and everything is funded well. I don't need it. I'm doing it for the art, for the fun of it, right? Because I feel like you just might, somebody might like you that day, but you don't care. You already funded. You, you got your money, your life is fine and they want to give you a, a row and pay you this much money that you already make on your business, but it's an extra, why not? So that's how I'm looking at it. But like one of my dreams is to go to, I want to go to acting training in the UK because, I'm sorry. All the best actors from, from over there. it's insane how someone can come to the US and you f you don't even know that they're from You think that they're from the US Cause they're playing that, you know how many times that happened to me where I'm like, wow. He's, he's what? He Like I, I, when it comes to the acting, I would do it through there. I would, I need, I would, I can't get trained in the US Well,

Sam Curtis: 38:53

if you come over, let me know. I'll I can't get you into any of them. But I'm more than happy to show you around

Raymundo: 39:00

Oh, definitely. Now, yeah. We have lunch. Talk about life, life coaching. That would be awesome. That'd be awesome. And if you're ever in the us I'm in Massachusetts, so, I mean, I'm from New York, which, that's that's my home. That's my city. Have you ever been to New York?

Sam Curtis: 39:14

My parents lived on Long Island for like five, six years, so I know well. Oh, nice.

Raymundo: 39:18

Oh, that's awesome. New your connection. You know what? Even if you, even if you visited New York, you give applause. All right. So I saw that you one thing I read about on your profile is like we are in our heads a lot, so I wanna know what, like what are some methods to kind of like, get out of it for a little bit? Take a little break from it. Yeah.

Sam Curtis: 39:39

Yeah. I love this. I use, I have a cheesy slogan, which is get outta your head and into your life, right? Because that's what we all want when we're overthinking, we're trapped in it. Like you say, we're either stuck in the past or we're contradicting the future, and neither of that's actual life, right? That's all stories. And so, I work a lot with Overthinkers and, and trying to create that clarity. And I think actually there's no, again, I wish there was one thing, but there's no one tool that will help in that situation because you have to know why you're trapped in your head at that moment. So if it's mental load, for example, so you've just got so much stuff to do and your brain cannot stop thinking about, God, I got this done, then this and this. And you can't actually concentrate on doing any one thing because your brain's overloaded. That's me.

Raymundo: 40:25

That's me. Something like

Sam Curtis: 40:27

Yeah. Okay. Well, I'd suggest something like a color walk, right? If you're in that position. So it's one of my everyday mindfulness techniques, which is go out for a short walk. Five minutes is fine, right? Get outside streets or nature doesn't matter for this, right? Just get outside, do a short walk and pick one color wash. You're walking around, so pick the color yellow. And as you're walking around, your only job is to spot the color yellow. right? So every time your mind goes off and goes, oh God, I've gotta think about, no, no, hold on. Where was the yellow? Have I missed any yellow? And you're just scanning your environment constantly for the color yellow, keep it short cut, you know, five, 10 minutes. This isn't, you know, this is kind of, walking mindfulness in a way. Like it's meditation, but you are building the resilience by every time your mind goes off. Which it does cuz we're human and come back to the color. Yeah, of course. That is, that's like doing a sit up in the gym, right? So that's a mental sit up and that builds more resilience, which means you'll have more time in the present trapped in your head going over to-do list. Yeah. So like for mental though, that one, if it's emotions release writing, right? Rather than go through another one, like try release writing. If it's just you feel emotionally overwhelmed and you just got brain fog, like hell scribble, just get it down. If you are in like a meeting situation or you're surrounded by people and you need like a, it's not a quick fix, but you need something you can do quickly to just bring yourself back because it's all feeling a bit much do something called, it's a somatic tool called orientating, which is just look around the environment and label things. So just in your head what can I say? Keyboard crystals. Pens, lamp. But just label just for a very quick second. Because what that does is that when we get stressed, we obviously are pupils dilate because we are looking, is it dilate opposite way around. Can never remember because we are focus tunnel vision, right? It's, it's fight or flight. We've gotta get out of there, right? When we're stressed, we're doing that. You open up your peripheral vision, which is a signal to the body. It's calm, right? Everything's fine. We're not in a stressful situation. We're all right. So that one could be really good. It's also really good if you're about to cry. But if you're about to cry, sorry, my headset's just died, which is annoying. Cause I Oh,

Raymundo: 42:42

So you say if you're about to cry, if you're about to cry.

Sam Curtis: 42:46

So if you're about to cry, for example, cause when I had kids in classrooms, you know, teenage girls and notorious, bless their hearts, I was one of them for finding life overwhelming and then just starting to cry. And I haven't grown out of it. I still do it in meetings But if you find that it's overwhelming and you feel like you can feel that, like, you know, the hot and the tears start to come do it then as well, because your brain can't cope on both. So it will calm you down and you'll actually be able to hold the tears back so you won't, won't end up in that awkward situation in a meeting.

Raymundo: 43:14

If it's, I'm, I'm gonna try that next time. I watch The Lion. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. When we fast, I'll be like, lamps tv,

Sam Curtis: 43:24

Just scan around, label them. See if test it out. Why not? Because not, no, definitely people. So, you know, we've got the research behind them, that's one of my favorite things about coaching is building it together. So they go away, they trial some techniques that we design together, and then they come back and we go, work didn't work. Ugh. What was that like? Yuck. Or, oh, this was really good. And when we use all that knowledge to build the next set of tools and techniques so that they're perfect for that person that's amazing. Like a few other things. Like if it's a self-worth thing. So if your brain is like in super self-doubt and it's just like, oh my God, I can't do anything. I'm a horrible human. This is no good. I can't, and you're like trapped in like self-doubt. Oh, that's me

Raymundo: 44:07

too.

Sam Curtis: 44:09

Start a 50 things list, right? I recommend everyone does it. So I think most clients get this in like session number one. Which is the 50 things that make me amazing. Oh, and do it over two weeks, right? This isn't a sit down and do it in 20 minutes. This is a start it in one time and then add to it all the time. Because the reason I want you to do it across two weeks is because, and the reason I make it so high and say 50, which scares people, which I love, that's my favorite reaction.

Raymundo: 44:35

a narcissist like 50 Yeah,

Sam Curtis: 44:38

only Is because it trains the brain. The brain always looks for more of the same. It's the reticular activating system, the RAs, it is always looking for more of what you want. So if you are constantly having to fill out 50 things while you are amazing, you will constantly be finding, oh my God, I was a really good friend right there. Or, oh, I didn't have to help that colleague, but I really, I showed up for them. That makes me, okay. So that's one. You know, or actually, you know what? I'm really complimentary to people. I give people compliments all the time. I didn't realize I'm complimentary, right? Mm-hmm. And so you train the brain to look for more of the same, and that is a massive self worth booth, which will get you out of your head, right? Because you're looking at nice things, and so it feels calming and relaxing. Wow. And then if it's other people, oh, they said this. Did I say the right thing? Oh my God, it's, you know, are they feeling this way? Have I done this? Get piece of paper, two circles on that bit of paper, theirs and mine. So write down all of their emotions, all their thoughts, everything of theirs that you are carrying in their circle. And then write down all of the things you are carrying in that circle. they might be feeling angry because of something you said. You can't control their anger, but you might feel guilty that you made them angry, right? Mm-hmm. tear that bit of paper in half. Once you've captured both circles. Tear it in half, scrunch up the theirs, chuck it away, then look at the mine and go, what of these can I do something about? So if you do think you said something wrong and you are feeling guilty about saying the wrong thing, then then apologize. Right? Take an action from it. But if you look at that circle and go, actually, there's no action I need to take. I wouldn't change anything. You've got release cause

Raymundo: 46:14

you've given back this. Yeah. Why? And then you have that realization, that reflection moment. That's amazing man. All those, I hope y'all wrote all this stuff down. I'm definitely gonna highlight this on YouTube cause this is amazing information. Like, I didn't know maybe about the writing two minutes, but all the other techniques, the color walk the writing a circle down, like I, these are something, all these things can be helpful and you gotta find out which one of those techniques work for you. And that's the key to being successful, right? Not, it's not always one thing that makes a person successful. It's their discipline. It's their willing, it's their willingness to learn new things. And pretty much you gotta get in the mindset. it gotta be whatever it takes, So having a, a life coach as ma, as amazing as Sam, or having a, a therapist or having a, a podcast as as amazing as me that's 49th to go, by the way. You gotta use all these things and find out and, you know, find your happy place. T tell us about a success story. You know, you don't gotta mention their name, but somebody that you could just, like, they went from here to here and it's like a, it's been phenomenal to be part of.

Sam Curtis: 47:25

I I'm not gonna share like one, because I would hate for a client to lesson and, and sort of connect. Okay. And think, oh my gosh, you chose me. Like, cuz that I think, I appreciate it's still confidential if I don't mention names, but it, but this is private and personal stuff. These people come to talk to me and trust me with, so, you know, I think what I can say is that most people come to me with like one specific area of mine, so they're like mm-hmm I wanna, I don't love my job or I haven't found the right person to spend my life with or, I just, I completely go to shambles every time I go into a room of more than 20 people, what the hell do I do? Mm-hmm. you know, so one specific thing, right? One problem that they've been unable to solve themselves. And what tends to happen is that they find that the work we do branches out into all areas of their life. So I've had clients say things like, my relationship with my wife is better than ever and I've got my promotion that I wanted, right? Mm-hmm. One client who and she'll, she'll forgive me. I know she will you know, struggles with public speaking and with kind of standing up for herself and her self worth. We did beautiful work around self worth and she's now started her own business and she feels comfortable showing up every day as the owner of that business and stuff like that. So, you know, it's, it's awesome the work I get to do and what I love is like all my clients leave with having experienced a greater sense of self-worth and self-acceptance, like, which is, that's the work I choose to do, right? That's the goal. It's natural best, right? It's who I am. The, not, you know, not me, but the client who they are that matters. Their self worth, their self-acceptance. Cuz that leads to happiness and contentment and just watching them blossom from there. Right. Any decision they make from that place, they don't need me anymore. Right. Because they're in a good, solid place, they can then go off and tackle any other question that comes up.

Raymundo: 49:20

that's amazing. Like this episode, I hope you get, I hope this episode gets a million views. Cause it's just been so helpful and your perspective it's so phenomenal. It is. You speak with so, you know, with great energy and you hear the passion in your voice and your accent is amazing by the way. So you got all these combinations working for you and you have a story. Oh man. This is what I love about podcasts. I can't wait till this is like my full-time. I just love meeting people. I love perspective. Like, you gave me a whole nother perspective and I just come from having a whole nother perspective from an artist, from one of my friends from high school, and it's like, wow. It's like I've really, this season has been amazing, man. Like, I can't even

Sam Curtis: 50:02

Yeah. And you've got such amazing energy and you ask fantastic questions. Sorry. Thank you,

Raymundo: 50:09

Thank you. Thank you. And I was, there was once upon a time, I didn't, I didn't like the questions I asked, but every time I send the questions, I will get, wow, these are really thought out questions. You pretty good questions. So, don't always get the ask all of them because. in the floor. You get better ones in, in the midst of, oh, you did this. Oh, tell us more about this. I love this. That's

Sam Curtis: 50:29

part of the skill of being such a great host that you have though. So

Raymundo: 50:33

thank you. Thank you. I, I appreciate that a lot cuz you know, sometimes we can be tough on ourselves. So hearing that, adds to the, to the fire. I already got burdened Yo, you spoke a little bit earlier about mindfulness, which I was introduced to the practice. I, I was having a nervous breakdown and my, my friend that I told you about, she was like, close your eyes, breathe now. Rest your toes, rest your ankle, rest your knee. She went and the next thing I know I feel stress-free. Anxiety's pretty much gone. but she was like, Ray, you could do it by yourself. Cause I kept calling her, I'm like, you wanna do the, the, the mindful thing? she was like, I'll do it one more time, but after this you are on your own. And I would use it sometimes, like to go to sleep, you know, to, to, to zone out. But speak about like the benefits of, of mindfulness. So

Sam Curtis: 51:20

I'm a meditation teacher and I did that because I was often leading similar. She's doing a body scan with you there and they're just beautiful. A great way of dropping out of your head and into your body and therefore calming your mind. So, beautiful technique. Well done. so I actually train as a meditation teacher. Like I said, I'm always learning, I'm always developing the next thing, because I was doing this for clients at the beginning and or end of sessions, just as a way of like kind of getting them out of their work day or wherever they were at, into the coaching session, and then getting them ready to go back out into the crazy world of work or whatever face was facing after the session. And so I decided to train, and then I, now I'm on Insight timer as well, so people can find me doing body scans and different types of meditations on there. But the reason I focused so heavily on mindfulness is because there's this belief that meditation needs to be like minimum 20 minutes, ideally four days, like none of us have time for that. the world I live in. And so what I like about mindfulness is I think it's a sati word for grounded presence or something like that. I've, it, it's escaping me, but it's something like that and it's about, yeah, that sounds great.

Raymundo: 52:30

Grounded presence. What? I'm about to, I'm about to change my podcast of that. The ground for the Grounded Presence,

Sam Curtis: 52:37

that's a great story. Probably inaccurate, definite explanation of what mindfulness means in sat, but, but So, I like to find pockets of that throughout the day. And so, because if we can find those pockets, if we can be more present, we have more life, right? Mm-hmm. we're not trapped in our heads. If we are here, we have better relationships. We have less stress and anxiety, we have greater clarity. We, we actually, when we're in a stress mode, we shut down the important parts of the brain for problem solving, rational sense, creative thinking, right? So all of that disappears when we're in fight or flight, right? So we are not actually the best at our jobs when we're overworked. Right. If we can relax into it, if we have more space and more time, if we've got tools in our toolkit that give us back basically the prefrontal cortex, right? Puts that back online. We've got all of this amazing thinking power. That's what makes us human, right? Yes, yes. But stress shuts that down, right? Just the amygdala. That's it. The amygdala is the only bit online. When we're stressed, it's not a hundred percent true, but get my point. So we want that prefrontal cortex, right? Something I do before all client sessions is I will go do a body scan or I will do some form of mindfulness just to make sure that I'm there for them and I'm not trapped in my own thoughts and Oh, I need to do that. did I talk to my accountant? Did I send that after that happen? Right? We're is human, so I will always kind of get myself focused and, and I'll do it in really short ways. It could be the color. A body scan like your friend does, it could just be three short breaths. If you connect with the breath, you're not in the mind. Right? Because if you're feeling the sensation of the breath, whether that's in your stomach, in your ribcage, or literally feeling the breath on the nose, it'll be cold going in and warm coming out. Try three of those, of those refocusing on the temperature. Beautiful. Right?

Raymundo: 54:33

Wow. That's yeah. right, right. I was like, whoa, wait, and,

Sam Curtis: 54:39

and the thing is not to judge yourself when your mind runs off and goes, oh my God, did I do that thing? Like when you are doing these things, because it will, that is literally what it's designed to do. It is there to keep thinking. To keep doing. So it's okay that it runs off your practice cuz it is a practice. Unfortunately, it's not a skill you can just master. It is a practice. Yes. Is going, oh look, my mind is wandered off. I must come back to. the feeling of my breath, what part of the body I was on. Oh, what are my knees feeling like? What color am I looking for? Can I hear what, what sounds? Can I hear far away? What sounds, can I hear quite? So we can use all five senses for mindfulness. In fact, I use five senses as one thing. Five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste super quick. Way to have a moment of mindfulness that no one else knows about, right? It's not sat there in, you know, lotus position. Hands in mudras, eyes closed, You can do that around the office really quickly to just get that, you know, calm your brain, get yourself back on track and when it runs off, come back. Give yourself compassion cuz you've just done a mental sit up. You have literally built a relationship between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex, which is what the research shows. Ruby Wax a wonderful comedian. Studies, all of this and her books on mindfulness are fantastic for anyone who wants to pick them up. And that is why we do it, right? We do it to give that relationship in the brain a stronger neural connection so that instead of being in an argument with our other half and three days later thinking of the right thing to say in the shower, we have our rational brain online. Even though we're anxious because we've developed the skill of going, right. Need my brain cuz this isn't, this argument isn't gonna go anywhere if we just keep yelling at each other. So how do I get my rational brain back, oh wait, I've trained for this. I have done those mental sit-ups because I've looked for colors, I've listened to sounds, I've connected to my breath, I've connected to my body. And then you can have those relationships with colleagues and partners that you want because you are not just stuck in that cycle. We have access to the bit that we all think is the most important. Right. I'll break.

Raymundo: 56:54

Exactly. Wow. That's powerful. Powerful information like, I've been interested in mindfulness, but like now I'm like, no, I gotta practice it every day. Like after you hear that, how can you not wanna practice it? This, it's literally, mindfulness has something for every situation. And meditation. I always preach meditation cause the times of my life that I've gotten my best self started with meditation I don't do it as often as I should. I, I just, cuz I'm always like, like if you said I'm thinking about a million things a day, you know, I have my twins always on my mind and everything revolves around what I'm gonna do to make sure I can provide the best for them. So that's always, so I can't even sit down 10 minutes. But when I actually do a one meditation lasts me a week. Like I'm, I'm on fire for like a week. But imagine every, when I do it, there was one time I did it, I think three, six months, at least five days a week. And I was like, people were like, yo, you changed. You're not the same ray that. I was, I was worried about public speaking and next thing I know I'm doing a wedding I'm speaking in front of people in at work, front of the whole, if I'm in the middle of the whole room, just speaking, proud of myself, you know, feeling good about what I, not second guessing myself. And I would ha I, I have to thank meditation and working out too. That combination of the two, the endorphins and then being present. everything you want is gonna come if you stay present and do what you gotta do right now. Not worry about what you didn't do before. yeah, if this don't make you wanna meditate, then I don't know, don't even just turn it off. Turn the episode off right now.

Sam Curtis: 58:33

So mindfulness is just one pathway of meditation, right? Yeah, that is, it is a form of meditation, but you don't have to do formal meditation or transcendental meditation or any of these different. Things you can choose to just do the mindfulness practice, right? Mm-hmm. and turn it in. I've, I, I get clients cause I agree with you. Working out is really good because again, you tend to drop into the body because you need to listen to the muscles. Right? Exactly. But if it's hard to drop out of the head, if you're running through your office to do less whilst doing bicep curls, one, you're more likely to cause yourself an injury. two, combine it with some actual brain mindfulness. So every time you do a bicep curl, give one gratitude. Right. I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for that. And, and, and use cuz mindfulness, you know, is that present. So if you're being focused on what you're grateful for, do it every time you swim length of the pool. Right. You can notice a different sense or a different smell or something and label it right. Wow. So you can build it in together. And also, you know, you mentioned your kids, which is amazing. thank you. I often talk to my clients about pets as well as their kids, cuz obviously being present with our kids is something we all want

Raymundo: 59:43

more of. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Sam Curtis: 59:45

We love to. Pets are wonderful as well, but use, you know, it sounds awful, but usual kids to be mindful, usual pets, to be mindful. Take a moment when you first start playing with them or when your cat sits on your lap and go through the five senses. What can I see about my daughter, my son, my dog, my cat, my parrot, right? What can I hear from them? What can I smell about them? What can I touch on them? Is are they soft? Can I feel the weight of them sat on my lap? right. as

Raymundo: 1:00:14

you say, you

Sam Curtis: 1:00:16

taste licking a cat. Dog child is probably not a great idea.

Raymundo: 1:00:21

Absolutely. To drink

Sam Curtis: 1:00:24

Yeah, exactly. So, but have that moment to be present with them. Kids are wonderful. Animals are wonderful at being mindful cause it's what they live for, right? They don't have a brain that wants to problem solve everything. They're just loving life. They're, you know, the kids are developing that brain, obviously. But, you know, animals aren't, and it's so nice to watch them. So use them as part of it. Learn from them, em, embrace mindfulness with them.

Raymundo: 1:00:48

Oh man, that's amazing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna start that today. I'm just gonna, everything from their little their little noses to their little feet. They're so cute. I have a boy and a girl. My first kids were, I would blessed with a boy and a girl, and they're awesome. Love Everything's for them. Everything I'm doing right now, it's, it is. give them the best, you know, I'm trying to be my best so I can give'em the best example. Cause we all know it is what we do. It's not what we say, what we say is just half of it. But well, all these things we spoke about. Now I think I, it's time for me to ask my signature question, which is, and I I love everyone's answer cuz everyone's answer is always so like, unique. So what role does fear play in your life?

Sam Curtis: 1:01:32

I feel like I should have some like perfect corrected answer for this as a coach Because it plays many roles. you know, if we think about it scientifically, you know, my pseudoscience cuz, cuz I'm not very good at data effects. I hold the meaning of something and then forget words. I think it's part of the dyslexia. I also think it's just not how my brain works. I, I'm like, ah, that's kind of how that works. Great. Moving on, So I hold kinda this, this the sentiment. I'm not a brain scientist. Can, I will probably mix up things, but fear is the amygdala firing and the body switching from, in a simplistic term, parasympathetic rest and digest to fight and flight sympathetic. And it's like a Cecil, right? You can only be in one at a time and we're constantly moving between the two. And I guess, how does fear impact me? It's, you know, it is, it's that brain. It's the, when it shuts down the brain part that I find it the most frustrating. I have always tried to problem solve my way out of everything. Ak I've tried to think my way out of every problem. So for me, fear comes up and I'm in completely the wrong place to find the answers. And so a lot of the work I've been doing with my own coach recently is on one, obviously I do tons of mindfulness, maybe not as much as I should, but you know, I'm only a human too. But working on that understanding of how my nervous system moves through. Cause in polyvagal theory there's three levels, right? You've got normal vagal, which is kind of your, you're extreme, you're free or thorn. You've got your sympathetic, you fight or flight, and then you've got your oh, it's gone. The other level, the normal level, everyone's happy, rest and day. Yeah, yeah. and, and it's how my body personally moves through those stages and what tools I need at each stage to help me and noticing when. I'm being driven by, I, I spend a lot of time in dorsal va. So I, I kind of freeze and, and I just, everything kind of shuts down and I just, everything's so overwhelming. So I spend a lot of time there. So what other triggers happen at that point? What patterns have I already created? You know, is it going and getting a glass of wine, doing some online shopping? And all that kind of stuff. And learning what tools do I actually have that are not negative in that moment to help bring me back up to where I'm in a good place so that my brain can work so I can actually get on with the thing. So yeah, that kind of more scientific aspect my life. So there's a lot I'm over cause I'm a perpetual and a perpetual thinker of things. You know, how it's kind of manifested is that it's always there. You know, I've built my self worth over the last decade. Of which seven years I have been a coach So mm-hmm. first three years were me figuring it out for myself and then suddenly it was like, oh wait, there's a whole industry here that could help me. And so I then moved into coaching myself on the side. So it's always there. And it is a motivator. It is a signal. It is, you know, like I said, excitement and anxiety manifest the same in the body, and that's true for me too. And so I listen in for when am I frightened of this thing, cuz I've never seen it before or am I frighten of this thing because it's something to be scared of and, you know, can I change the thing to be scared of? You know, another coaching tool I use a lot with clients is, if you imagine like a, an archery board, right? With all the circles coming out from the middle, it's gold and middle and red, and then black and blue and white or something. You know, the gold is like our comfort zone. It's all the skills we have where we're comfortable, everything's happy, we want to be in there as much as possible, right? But then the next one, the red is like your stretch zone and then the black or whatever is your panic zone. Mm-hmm. So what we need to be doing is going out into that stretch zone. And that is really uncomfortable because that's a lot of pushing, right? Physically for the body. It feels like there's pushing. Cuz there's a fear. It's not the comfort zone, it's not the same space. It's kind of like a caterpillar going through to become a butterfly. When we step out into that stretch zone, we are giving that edge of that circle of push, right? We're physically trying to stretch our comfort zone. So it's a lot of work and the more we do it, the more less that circle resists us. And so what happens is our comfort zone becomes the same size as our stretch zone, which means the black then becomes our stretch zone. And then when next circle is our panic zone. mm-hmm. right? So we can grow that. And so that's been a big part of learning fear for me. Rather than just going, Nope, straight back into the little comfort zone in the middle here, is actually, if I'm gonna learn and grow and develop, I have to face that fear. I have to face that resistance and give that push so that my, my zones grow so that I will always have things that will panic me. But they're not as big as they were when I was 15, 16, 20. Right? Because yeah, they're bigger things. I've got closer to them, right? Mm-hmm. Because I do more to stretch my comfort zone, get out into that stretch zone, which then grows than then the stretch zone's still there. Right. And I got new things I can explore and do. So, yeah. I'm, is that

Raymundo: 1:06:36

okay? Question? No, that was, no, that was awesome. I always wanna make sure the response is different and it's, it usually is always a, is always different. And that one was a little bit. Seeing it like you, I don't know. You painted a picture for me. I saw the circle. It made sense. And, and it just, it made me identify cuz I felt like, you know, fear is almost, you know, fear could be many things. It could be a teacher, it could be a guide, but for me it's a nemesis. I don't, I think this is the first time I ever answered that question on this show. That's crazy. I always ask the question, but never answered it. You got me to answer it without even asking me. So great, great, great job in communication, Yeah, it's my nemesis because like, like your nemesis, right? Like they challenge you. You know what I mean? And, and it is not like about, oh, it's not a love or hate thing, but it's more love than anything because it's like you bring the best outta me. Like I can't be the best if you not around. It, it can never be boring because you always be there to remind me that I can always go back to the start. you know what I'm saying? If fear got into something, into a fight, I would help them fight. Just cuz fear has helped me grow. And he fear has made me notice things about me and my perspective and what my subconscious, like, how my subconscious perceives things to know what I gotta work on. Right? So if I'm so scared to speak in front of people and like family, like, you know, like when they have toast and stuff like that, people know, I'm the speaker, so they always look to me and I always get nervous. I'm like, fuck. Like, really So, yeah. So what I did, I stopped, I joined Toastmasters. It's a place of public speaking, but I stopped. I, I stopped going. I don't even know why I stopped going. Like, I, I think we had some car issues and I stopped going. But that helped me a little bit. And then the podcast helped me tremendously where. do you see this? I used to be terrified that the day before I would stop eating cuz I would be so nervous. Mm-hmm. And now I have this method where like I talk to myself, I'd be like, before the episode, I'm like, you the best podcaster ever. Walk on this earth. And I was like, you know what? You know what you do? This is what you do, what you're going to go do right now on that computer. And then my last thing I say in there is go in there like God sent you. If God sent you, how would you go in there? I'm just like, Avengers,

Sam Curtis: 1:08:53

I always used to say that if I ever lost the fear of going on stage, I'd give up acting that day. Oh. Like if I ever lost that buzz that that, because it meant I wasn't gonna be doing a good enough job. Didn't care. Right. It's the same with relationships. You can love someone or hate someone. You, they've got just as much energy from you. It's indifference where you don't care anymore. Mm. And so that's your, that's your fear and everything is your nemesis. Like, I love all of that imagery. It's great.

Raymundo: 1:09:25

Yeah. That's awesome. I think those are two great perspectives that bonded together. So now that we wrapping it up, what's, if there's one thing, and you can tell somebody right now that can make probably like a little difference what would that be? Well, I'm

Sam Curtis: 1:09:38

biased. Try some everyday mindfulness but what I'll say as a coach, because obviously the beauty of my job is I get to work with unique individuals and we build a toolkit that is that unique, is that experiment. If there is a goal yes, or something you wanna change in your life right now, sit down, write down five different possible ways you could tackle it, right? Five completely random, different ways that you could try it. And then do that for the next either five days. Five weeks, what? Whatever's logical for the goal and then reflect. Go. Actually, day three. Ugh. Hated that. I was all writing stuff down. I was trying to do this. Ugh. No, get rid of it. Ain't at all for you. Whatever happened on day two and day four though? What? What worked? What can you now combine of those two and how can you then experiment with that? Right? So just write down some really random ways that you could do it. So like, say you wanted to, I mean, terrible time of year with the holidays coming up, but say you wanted to drink wine,

Raymundo: 1:10:43

probably

Sam Curtis: 1:10:47

right? I could just go cold. right? If you go cold Turkey, I could only drink beer. Don't really like beer, but you know, I could only drink beer. I could only drink if I'm at home or only drink if I'm out. I could only drink if I'm with friends or I could, you know, I, you can write so many different ways. And then experiments, see which ones. So is there a pull like, oh, I'm at home and, oh, but actually, you know what? I always have wine with this meal. Hmm. What is it about this meal? Why, why? Okay. What is it about me connecting wine with food? Okay, well there's a passion there. Okay. So I don't wanna lose my passion for it, so I need to keep that bit in. So cold Turkey isn't the answer either, then because I'm losing my passion. So how can I make sure? And you just put the pieces together slowly and if you wanna speed it up, talk to a coach.

Raymundo: 1:11:33

Exactly. Which brings me to my next question. If someone wanted to work with you follow you get some advice, cuz you know, you, you definitely in the, the communication, helping people world. So let them know where they can find you, where they can go. It'll be on the show notes as well, but it's good to hear it as well.

Sam Curtis: 1:11:49

Amazing. Thank you Ray. Of course, so anyone interested to know more about me can find all the details on my website. That's probably the best place to kind of funnel everyone, which is sam curtis.com. I'm also, I love connecting on LinkedIn. It's sort of my platform where I talk, I, I do posts and things. I, I do have an Instagram account. I'm just not, it's not me, right? So LinkedIn is where I tend to give out my advice. I do have an newsletter, as I say, I'm on Insight timer. I do monthly live sessions on Insight Timer as well. But if you go to my website, you'll be able to find all that information there. So that's sam-curtis.com. And I already mentioned it, but if anyone is curious, has never experienced coaching before, or just not found the right coach for them, I ha I do offer a free session. Absolutely no strings attached. I do not believe in hard sell. I do not believe if I'm not right for you. There is absolutely no point us working together, like for your sake and for mine right? So if it's something you've always wanted to ask questions around, or you've just got something you'd like to unpick, you know, I offer 45 minutes completely for free. No expectation. You can sign up for that on my website.

Raymundo: 1:12:54

and again, it will be on the show notes, but, oh man, Sam, you've been amazing. I'm pretty sure that's not the first time you heard. seems like exceeding expectations is a regular thing for you,

Sam Curtis: 1:13:06

I don't think it

Raymundo: 1:13:19

Oh, man. But your perspective, your knowledge, your passion, again, the words you choose, everything about you is amazing. I can see why you're finding success in this field. Very genuine, very real. And I feel like, I don't know, I feel like your success rate gotta be extremely high. Cause the way you put things, it just, it makes someone want to listen. And not only that, you, it is nothing more important than having to talk to someone that actually listens. So, I, I see nothing but great success where you be the, you know, when you think of life coach, when you think of, not even just life coach, when you think of yo how can I be better? Let me see what Sam Curtis has gotta say.

Sam Curtis: 1:14:05

thank you. And I just would love to echo that sentiment. Thank you for being a wonderful host for, for asking amazing questions, for giving me a platform for making me feel safe, right? Part of being a coach again is creating that safe environment that people cannot open up in. And you have certainly done this for me today, so thank you very much.

Raymundo: 1:14:23

Thank you so much. And I think I'm definitely gonna start research on my life coach certificates and, and put'em in order. Cuz I would love to do what you just, you, you just did that for me on the episode, like things that I'm dealing with, you said. Things that will, that can help me in my life today, that I can start today. And I'm sure I'm not the only one, but like I said, you're a blessing and you never know. Definitely would love to have you in the there's an episode we can have you back on, or if you want me to be on any episode or any type video or, or anything or we, we, I feel like from now on, definitely stay in touch. You got my email, I have yours and yeah, I just, I want to see you do great. Keep doing great. I'm gonna get on LinkedIn cuz Instagram's not your thing. No,

Sam Curtis: 1:15:09

no, definitely. In fact, something that may or may not come to version in 2023 is I'd love to do a video conversation. And I'm looking, I'm kind of exploring who might be a good partner because I am rubbish if I'm like just talking to a camera by myself. I don't know why I could script it. I could put all that effort into it, right? I'm a trained actress. I can do all of that, but I am so when it comes to coaching, it is so much easier if someone asked me a question and I get to answer it because suddenly all these ideas just come flooding in that when I'm sitting there. So you never know. Maybe it's something we could partner up in and figure something out. That would be

Raymundo: 1:15:50

really cool. Oh, that would be awesome. And we're on different parts of the world that's like that. Mm-hmm. you know, we, we could get people from all over the world to see what we talking about. how our different worlds make, you know what I'm saying? Combine and make a beautiful world. Oh, wonderful World.

Sam Curtis: 1:16:07

Very f

Raymundo: 1:16:11

Well, thanks a lot Sam. We wish you the best. Thank you for being on the Ram. No show and take care. Take care. Thank

Sam Curtis: 1:16:18

you so much for having

Raymundo: 1:16:19

me. No problem.

1:16:27

Helpless someone realize the power they have. Is a power in itself. We analyze so much. It's hard to realize. The strengths we possess. We're able to uplift with words or actions. Simply saying it's okay. To show us someone you're there. By your side, like nationwide. So you don't have to do it alone. With a grateful heart and a helping hand. You assistance could be the difference. To inspire the hopeless and believing they can. Once, you know, it's only half the battle worth the GI Joe. And if you find the way to make a living and help people at the same damn time. Your future looks great. And since you're mindful. You'll be able to appreciate the present. It all makes sense. Once you use all your senses. Having a good foundation. Can be the start of building you up. Like the floating city in Saudi Arabia. I don't know if you've seen that looked like a turtle, but it's about to really be a flow to the city, man. That's crazy. I got to visit that. This was a great episode. If this is your first time listening, are you a regular? I like the thank you again. I like to thank Sam Curtis. For. Speaking great words. Instead this episode. With great energy. And great methods to help us in our everyday lives that I already started using, uh, the color walk. But, yeah, I wish I had a best in everything till next time. Peace. Love window. Ah