Yeah. Is your host. Raimundo welcome to my show, where we laugh. Talk that shit. And try to learn something to be better for the next day or the next hour. The next second, regardless, we just trying to improve. Uh, if we could do it together as a nation, that'll be great. But right now we stone with people that follow my show. Ain't that many right now, but. Uh, see it, Rome started with one building and look at them now. So as long as you don't stop. Stacking up them bricks. No drug dealer. Shouldn't tender. You be good. But this is episode 55. Who are you? And sometimes. That comes to Tom in our lives, but we have to question who the fuck we are. Because of the decisions you make. And the things we deal with and the people we wanted that we deal with. And the situations we find ourselves in. Sometimes who you are. And who you think you are, is not the same person. So. I asked you. Who are you? But yeah, before we get into that episode, let's get into the quota today. Found the good one. to be yourself in the world. That's constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment by Ralph Waldo Emerson. The world is always judging you. Commercials are telling you that you're not good enough. Or you're not strong enough or you're not skinny enough. Um, our peers. So as we all program, the majority of us are programmed the same. They do the same thing. They'll judge you someone to say that your shirt is ugly. Right. But they disrespect the mother, right. Or someone to make a comment about. Anything about you, right? And they got some fucked up shit in their life. Now that's not saying that no one can say nothing about you, but, but how you say it. Like you're better than someone or. You don't make mistakes. To be calling out everybody else's mistakes. Even if you let's say you a perfect, who are you to tell anybody about them? And that's why this episode came about because. I feel like. Like everyone knows how I am. Right. And even people that meet me, new things, they know who I am. So, obviously I'm not. Doing a good job of translating who I really am. And that's why, because I haven't. Got into that deep. Uh, You know, when you, when you have that good sense of self, right? Like you know who you are, you know what you won't do, you know what you won't accept? And you know, what you won't deal with, but when you're. Getting pulled by so many different directions and those directions count on the decision that you got to make for yourself. That's when there's a problem. And that's when I noticed. Um, You can't hear what you don't reveal. And that's how I feel like. You know, this weekend, I went to New York and I was basing decisions. On other people like. I w I wanted the other people to solve the problem for me, because I didn't want to face it. And at the moment, I didn't think about it like that, but it hit me when I got home. I'm like, yo, why do I need. Oh approval, or I need to know that for sure. I'm doing the right thing. Uh, one of my, one of my brothers shout out the gene was like, yo. Your word. Means a lot to you. So if you do something against your word is going to sit wrong with you. And. You're not going to be happy with yourself. And that's when I had the. The realization of thinking, like how many times have I made a decision? Just trying to make sure I make the right one. And basing them on other people's decisions. And we all do that, but it got me to the point like, yo Ray, who are you? Who's Raimundo who's Ray. Like what, what the fuck is going on? And. There's been times in my life. I haven't been proud to be me. And there's been times. Which has been my best times where I didn't give a fuck. When nobody said, like, I was living. I was being me. I've made the decision that I wanted to make. And. That's the thing you got to live in doubt, which, uh, which of the decisions cause. You can blame other people, all you want. It's still on you. I don't give a fuck. It was like, I'll say like, you know what I'm saying? Like thunder fucked up your crib. it's up to you to fix your crib. God's not going to be like, oh, let me, let me get my insurance people over there. Good. My lightning bolt hit. This season is kind of personal and working on my master plan and this things that need to be in. In place. In order to make that plan. Flourish, and it's not going to be a perfect plan. I'm going to have to change it. You might have to change it. the best thing we could do is be true to ourselves. I make decisions. Yeah, we could get insight. But solely make the decision that's going to make you happy. And even if it doesn't make you happy and you ended up making the wrong one. Not you can't blame anybody, but yourself. And I'm be honest is it's always easy to blame yourself. no, it's easy to blame other people. It's harder to blame yourself That resurrect that. Realization that it was you. Like it wasn't Tommy wasn't Eric. It was here. Kimberly or Stephanie, it was you nigga. It was fucking you like, you made that decision. And I feel like the best thing to do is to make the decisions in live with demand and. try and error this bitch out until you figure it out. But. If you're doing stuff based on being liked. I just saw the ninja turtles. Right. I liked what they did with the movie. They want to. I like how they based the movie, like spoiler alert, you haven't seen it. But not so crazy. It's just, they want it to be accepted. So they felt like if they fought crime and they. You know, Save the city that the world would accept them. And I just, I looked at that and I'm like, wow, we live in a world that we just want. We. I just wouldn't be accepted, which is fine. Cause. Back in the day. You being accepted into the group. Depending on your life. Because I don't know. There was too many people that survived not being part of a village. It's like being dolo when there's an, there was animals out there. There was tribes, there was. So you being part of a group. You had an ag, right? And if you didn't act right, you was out that group to fend for yourself. You know, shit is rooted in us. But you have to end the quote. Being yourself in the world. That's trying to change you. It's a beautiful thing. So regardless of you don't have a lot of friends have a lot of people don't like you, if you're true to you, fuck those people in the ones that are there. Love you for that is. I noticed I meet people, the people I meet, the people that tell her how it is, the people that keep it up. Buck that's the people I gravitate to the most because I don't need that fake. Tell me what I want to hear so I could feel better. Like, yeah, I get the pressure. I get anxiety, but I don't need nobody to bait me. Be like, keep it straight. The fuck. A buck. That's another thing, man. Like I feel, I don't know, man, letting go of what, when you let go of what people think or how you look or whatever, and you just being, you. It changes the whole dynamic, like. You have right now, I just went outside. I'm singing. I ain't too proud about it, but I was, I was singing some chocolate factory. Say hi, Kelly. Man was a musical genius. I know he was a. Uh, He's a criminal. Like on the age, girls. Um, he fucked up with that one. But. And I'm not, I'm not defending them. I'm just saying. There was, you know, next story you, he got molested, supposedly when he was younger. Those things exposing kids to sex at an early age is. Put some on a. Fuck the blind to be. Miserable. Or they will live differently for those who have it. How many. Women and men. You notice they're not writing in the mind and then come to find out. Something happened in their childhood. If I saw him pointing in the world that don't give oh, in a world that don't give a fuck about kids or this child trafficking or this. Wow. Shit. It's made me definitely accept the world. Don't give a fuck about kids. So we got to go best. To empower our kids make their strong. do the best we can to protect them. From this. Big world. That's out to get them. Whether you conspiracy, there is a not. Look at the numbers. a whole bunch of kids are missing. But let you call out a Jewish person out. They name they'll stop everything, but they won't stop everything for kids, but that's a whole nother subject. And I ain't got no problem with Jews, people. I got to bond with nobody. Honestly, I was the kid that was upset. That racism was real. Like I was one of those naive. Oh, that's not real. That's just, people don't want to accept. No, that shit is real. I'm getting treated differently because of my race. I hear it. On these phone calls. on customer service, that shit is still alive. It's. It's built inside of the criminal justice system. It's like, it's in it. Like. So you could be. Someone of a different origin. And because it's in the system, you act out. I'll have the system. Has trained, useless. You see. Black cops, Spanish cops. all types of cops doing dumb shit and it's because they trained to do dumb shit. Like. I'm pretty sure they like, yo you see one somebody DACA. Uh, they're guilty. They probably want to admit that. But, you know what I'm saying? And then the stereotypes in. your patterns, your background. Where you from automatically makes you guilty, but that's just. I got mentioned in my last episode, not like we came into this world and it changed it. Should've been like that. We just became more aware and realized that shit is wrong. And we live in old Roy that talks about resources and all this extra, extra shit. And all they do is. Fuck up the earth. The earth is fucked up. And the people taking care of the earth. That's fucked up. That's saying you fucked up. They fucked up too. Right. Like, that's crazy. What, all that said having sense of self. And being proud of who you are proud of, what you have, what you don't have, what you're strong now, what you're weak at. That's the most important thing, because somebody is always going to have something to say. Right. Like there's people that are miserable, that I'd rather focus on your life. There's people that just like to talk about other people. Well there's people that just fucking toxic. And you can't let something that they say effect. How you go about things cause you don't want to look that way or you don't want to. Be looked at like that. The Hudl. Fuck, man. Yeah. You know what I noticed? Can I read that, that shit right? Kanye did that shit. Uh, bill Clinton does some shit, everybody. This is the shit that comes a point when nobody gives a fuck. There comes a point where nobody even remembers. So I feel like you should take the chance being you get embarrassed. Get. Whatever happens happens. Cause they, nobody gonna remember. But staying true to you. If you don't check people. They're going to do it again. And at least if you get to the point where you got to put hands, or you. You know, you check them, check them, at least you give them that warning conversation. You, I used to always do that. Like. I even do that to this day. Honestly, if I see that I can get to the point that I could smack the shit out at you or lose my job or just get locked up. I'm just going to throw the conversation at you. Like, yo, you keep talking to me like this, you keep doing that. let's see, what's going to happen. I don't like making threats. I love just, if I feel it, I'm gonna do it. And I always been the type to be worried about consequences. Like. Never wanted to get locked up. I never wanted to kill anybody. I never wanted to do no wild shit, but. Like rolling up. I could just remember, like, It was all about pleasing my dad. And then if my dad wasn't around. Uh, when she lived in Florida. So when he wasn't around, I would try to gravitate to other men that, um, I looked up to and I'll be just proven, proven. And then I, I got older and I'm still trying to prove shit to my dad. That's crazy. I mean, I want to tell my kids and my father would even tell me you don't have to prove none to me. So my dad just wants me to be happy with life. He wants me to just be able to take care of myself. And not worry about me, which who don't want that. I have kids, I wouldn't be able to raise these kids, have them take care of themselves so I could chill and enjoy life and not worry about them. As far as like. They're not fit to handle this world. Like I want them to be able to handle this world. And you know what, babying them. I can baby them right now, many babies, but once they get a little older. I got to give them a little bit of tough love. Cause I don't, I don't want them to come out like, like me. Yeah, my sense of self is all over the place. Like I said, I realized that some of my decisions, some of my, the things I do, I bless them on. Approval of other people in. I've gotten in and out of that. But I, it does stem from my childhood. So whenever I. Quote, unquote, get rid of it. It always comes back because I haven't. Got through those points because I'll tell you exactly what happens to me. When I want to do something. And so on gives you the warning, right? When you go, right. I went and I thought I did what I wanted to do, and then it didn't work out. So now I look at them. To be like that. You will. Right. So now then the next time I'm, I'm going to take, they were over my own. But what I did think about is that, you know what I followed through with my word, it didn't work out and I got a child another way. Because what could happen now, the next time you follow their word, and this is the time that you should be listening to yours. You see what I'm saying? So. It varies. Yo shit. She does wild man being aware of. What makes you uncomfortable? What makes you feel empowered? What makes you. Yeah, this is what makes you, you, who are you? If you don't tell anybody nothing. And no one knew about your life and there wasn't no social media. Would you still do the things that you do? Would you still try to lose weight? Will you still buy all those clothes? Would you buy all that jewelry? Honestly, ask yourself that question. I love getting a haircut. I love being clean. I love having fresh clothes. Like that's separate from anything else. Like I've not cared, looked like a bomb ass for weeks months. And I don't like the feeling. Waking up seeing yourself looking. Like you just rolled over the bed and his fucking five o'clock in the afternoon. You. That's not the life you want, man. That's definitely not the life you want. So let's get to the nitty gritty of the episode, right? What makes you, you. Well, one thing I know is your habits. Everyone has habits. Everyone has taken time to build these habits. Now the habits. That. Sir, press some type of pain. Some type of stress. Those are the easiest ones, because this has, you have made this, your antidote. Too. All the poison. That you come across. And those habits, all the words cause. You know, after you've done them so many times now your automatic response is that habit. And habit is, is what you constantly do is what you do in. That tells me more about you than what you say. Right? You can say this. But I see your habits make you do this. That's who I think you are. What we do the most is who we are. Thought podcast, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No one can tell me on not a podcast. If I complain. More than a compliment. I'm a complainer. And what I noticed in my job. I don't really like my job like that. Keep it a buck, but the less I complained. I don't have. The image of me hating it. As soon as I sit some sit on my desk, right. I go and I think about the positives and I'm here. I'm there to sit eight hours. To do. The best job that I can possibly do. And I can only hope that my numbers reflected, but they don't always, but that's okay. Cause that's all I can do. Is do the best that I can do. And that's for everybody. As long as, you know, you did the best. If you know, you could have did one call better. If you know, you could have, okay, that's fine. But just to make sure the next day you don't make the same mistake of not leaving it all out there. You know what I'm saying? But yeah, habits. Now this is a book called atomic habits. They have so many different. Ways of building these habits. And one thing I like that I think will help you. Is combining your habit. With something you already do, right. So have you watched TV? Right. And that's not the greatest habit. But you need to start. Writing or something, whatever, if you can write, watch TV. You can start building a habit of when you watch TV that you write. Now, this is a big question, right? A lot of people smoke weed, not as people that can smoke weed and get stuff done. And there's people that can smoke weed and not get nothing done. And it's not for everybody. There's people that can drink. I even know functioning gold has. Right, right. And I still go to work and everything. And. And on Friday. They, you know, they do that thing. I mean to each his own, if you're, if you're happy with your life and you do those things cool. But. Uh, Attaching the habit that something you already do is great. I mean, there's some that we just gotta like. The bowl on Friday with it just, yo, give me that chain like yo, you know what, give me that habit. And. You see, after pushing yourself after. So long, the habits that. Didn't serve you well, We'll eventually die down and their habits that you focus on the most. And you see the benefits. You should be able to embrace it and continue to do that. Cause. Then you have an example and you only see yourself, give yourself an example. If I continue with good habits. What happened? Now my, for my example, whenever. I don't want to work out a time. I didn't want to run. When I ran, when I worked out, when I meditated, when I did yoga, my, I was five was more flexible. You know what I'm saying? I wasn't on some. You know what I'm saying? Jean-Claude van Damme, but bloodsport, you know what I'm saying? You can. And he's fucking doing a split with. Two chairs, bugging. So again, the point I'm trying to make with that, if it works. It's going to work. Good habits. Uh, harder to do. But they have way more benefits. Now. The bad habits. They're great. For the time being. But they'll fuck you up in the future. So. so habit is something that makes you, you, you know, What's that saying? Tell me who your friends are. And I tell you who you are. Another thing who you hang out with is so important, right? Because if you a positive Gogan person and you hang out with a person that. Complaints and doesn't do shit. It's only a matter of time. I mean, don't get me wrong. You can reflect off them when they see that. What you do works or. You catch yourself complaining and not doing shit either. and that's just what it is. If. We both. We from the hood one still sells drugs at a certain age. The other one's shot to. You know, live a safe. Life. That he can build wealth and pass it down. Can't hang out with a drug that I don't give a fuck about gang court. Cause you're not both on the same. Yeah. Both not on the same path. Y'all probably were friends since I was kids. like, I always say you can chill with people that are not on the same. Wavelength with you is the people you spend the majority of your time with. So back in the day. Hung out with people that made bread. And all we talked about is bread and all we did was make bread. Now you talk about how you don't got bread and you continue. You putting that in the center of your universe. So. Try to get around people that's like positive in. And always a shout out the EBC man. Yo, no matter how shitty I felt. When I was hanging around with my people from high school. There. Respect and there. Aberration for me, or I won't even know if I'll use admiration, but. They made me feel like. I was the best. Version of myself. Now. You know, I wish I could say that with family families, different man family. I always remember. How should I wasn't or. I remember, like I'm not the top one in the family. Like. Like, for example, one of my siblings. And one I'm the oldest, the other one. I'm the middle. but you are the weakest link. Like all my siblings for the most part, they doing, they dang. I'm proud of them. They are killing it. And you know what I'm saying? When. When your people donate, then you want to do your thing too. You know what I'm saying? And like I said, in my family, I'm the one that they expect the shift from. Right. Like they got to worry if I'm good. There's people in my life that I worry about because they don't got they shit together. Like I'm like, ah, this person might need this on night on need that. Cause they always in the same pattern, not lately, I've been in the same pattern. Of. Talking more than I. Execute. So now that you know, that flight, that reputation lingers on me and. They'll all say right. Is, we don't think like that as you, but I know like it's not something that I think I know, cause I know me. I have great sense of self. My thing is. My sense of self is tied to. I guess being a Dick hair, right? Cause. When I realized when I, before I got into, in touch with the power of the word, like how strong. The things you say, right. You tell yourself, you can, you can, if you tell yourself you can't, your mind will look for reasons to show you why you can't write. Before I did that, I would. Make the excuse of why was this shit before any of my family said it right. And they'll laugh. Like I heart rate. Why you say that, but yeah, it's got a true. What I'm saying? I don't know what it is and I have to worry about it. Cause nobody barely nobody from my family, this is some of our podcasts. So ain't nobody going to be like, yo, why'd you say that about, but that's not true. Ain't nobody listens to it anyway. But yeah. Who you hang out with your behaviors, right? How you carry yourself. You want to carry yourself? Like a person you respect. Right because there's people you respect that you admire the way they carry yourself, but how do you carry yourself? Do you see how you really feel? Do you do what you really want to do? Do you, involve in the behaviors and actions of the person that you really are, or. Inspire to be. When I was in therapy, one time we did something called behavioral therapy where. My therapist would tell me if you didn't have. Well, everyone knows. Yeah, no. No, I've got OCD, right? If you didn't have OCD, what would you do? And I will be like, oh, I would do that. And then I, and then I started living my life every time I didn't want to do something. I'm all right. If I didn't feel like it was because of this, what would I do? And I'll do it. And your limits say someday. We're recording as fuck. you know, it was crazy, man. Sometimes you can give yourself the best advice. Like when I think about the. Advice. I give others. And even the vice I give myself that I don't say out loud. It's pretty fucking good. As in there, man. It just. I got to do more, to increase that respect for myself. You know what I mean? Which is episode 54, checking out if you have it's called respect. your behaviors, your more rules. You're Coles, man. And when I think about cold, I think about Brian. But my brother, Brian. You got certain Coles that he don't fuck around with, but once it's cold, Is attached to money. Chico forget about it. He's going to be a billionaire. my younger brother reminds me, like of me, like a motherfucker. Like it's crazy. Like. They'll see him, I guess. Seeing him. Seeing myself. It's how people see me. They see this greatness. But they waiting for me to stop playing. Now brothers young enough to change that. I'm still young enough to change that if I live to 90, right. I'm 37. I lived at all, which I just, I just had a birthday two weeks ago. I ain't even mentioned it in the last episode. Cause. 37. That shit echoes echoes echoes 37 7 7. But your morals, the things you believe in. Your dislikes in your likes. You know, your strength, your weaknesses. All these things play a major role. Like. It's just. You're not just who you think you are and that's the, so there's a Drake line when he goes, um, He said something about like, like it's dope when. You are who you think you are. Think about that you are, who you think you are, who you think you are is who loft. Fuck you are. And it could be no, there's nothing. Nobody can say that nobody could do. That can change that. Right. Especially. I mean, even if you have to use that as a defense, whatever. Oh, I. All right. You're telling me. That I do this too much, but look, you do this too much. So who the fuck? Chit worry about what the fuck you do? Don't worry about me. Don't let those people that always got a dependent of, you got something to say about how you do shit affect how you do shit. Because they not going to do it for you. It's easy to talk when you're not in that situation. Right. So. You know, it's cool to school to get help. It's good to, good to give feedback, but don't let somebody judge me or somebody saying some shit about you. Read the rest. What you going to do? You know what I'm saying? I be the type, right? I'm not the best driver. I've had a trauma with that. I'm a driving. It was my sister. My ex at the time. And her cousin. And the whole roll, the whole ride. They like. Well, let your sister drive my yo 20 pharmacists 18 at the time. Right. When I tell you that I'm 25, that was 25. I was 37 to this day, to this day. I still don't like driving with certain people in the call, but you know what. Because I made it my business to care about what people think of my driving. Now. There's going to be a time when I'm not going to give a fuck. I need to get somewhere. I'm going to go. You want to get in the car? Cool. If not, you can take the Uber like. Right. Like our Rudy stopped going places or stop. Because I'm worried about my driving or people. So you think about how many places that are the midst of perfect memory. Or great memory because I'm worried about what other people are going to say about my driving. And there's levels to this shit. This is something that you didn't do because you worried about somebody saying something you'll fuck that. Because everybody got some shit that they got to deal with and always somebody there's always going to be somebody to say, have some shit to say when they shit is fucked up too. So fuck that. Do you. Cause. No one can stop you from doing you. They can stop you from fucking with them, but they can't stop you from doing you. And when you do you, you respect yourself. And you respect. Who you are. And who you are. Is. A mix of habits, behaviors, dislikes, likes morals. The things that you believe in the things that you don't believe in. The thing that inspire you, the things that motivate you, the things that. Make you feel like shit, the things that give you anxiety, the things that make you feel stress. The things that make you feel empowered. The things that make you feel the best. Fuck it, man. It's your world. I love rain. There's people that see rain and fucking hate their day. I, it, I love it. I'd rather have the rain than the sunshine. I've come to that truthful myself. Now, when are you going to come to truth about who you are? Right. This people that they have SP. Um, They have all these dreams. And they were about what people are going to say. There's people that. You know, I mean, I feel like you shouldn't in this world. If you're gay. Trent, whatever you are, you can be who you are. It don't matter. Like. As long as you're happy with view. As long as you're doing. You. And you can be proud of who you are. But this was a great episode. I hope it kicks in. This episode was more for me than it was for you. But it empowered the shit out of me. And sometimes I always talk. I want to quit the show and listen. When, when my time comes, that's when I stopped podcasting. So even if I take a break, even if I, whatever I love this shit. This is my shit. One day. I'm going to have. Millions of people following. Listening. Where the people that I care about the most. Listen. It won't matter. Cause I got like that guy from my job. People can talk with me, talk about me like they do about Tim Dillon. I'm on the way or they talk about me like drink champs. It's only a matter of time. Can I quit? You can't stop somebody that won't quit. Right. But thank you for tuning in today. This was a great episode of this is your first time listening to you. A regular degular. Raimundo loves ya. Third person can be doing that. I fuck that. I want to do that third person. Yeah. I'm saying. I'm on my third person. Shit. So. This all fit. This is how I'm feeling right now. This is how you should feel inside nigga. Like you got shades on. In the claw when you don't even fucking need them, but you don't give a fuck because that's your prerogative word. The Bobby Brown. Ah, so next time. Peace, love window. Uh,