The Raymundo Show

Back 2 Life

September 26, 2022 Ray Gonzalez Season 4 Episode 37
The Raymundo Show
Back 2 Life
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this special episode Raymundo talks about the Pulse Nightclub shooting from 2016 with survivor and activist Jeff Xcentric. Tune in and hear about his story of tragedy, loss, hope and inspiration.

Special Guest: Jeff Xcentric

IG: @jeffxcentric

YouTube / Jeffxcentric


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Ye. Yeah. Uh, it's your. Holes. Raimundo welcome to my show. Where we relate. Learn. Talk about dope shit. and have a lot In between. But this is episode. Sold 37. Back to life. Back to reality. This episode has been in my head. To say a little bit over a year. It's definitely not going to be the last. Part to this. But we'll get more incident. Let's get Hold it today. Let's go let's go. And today's quoted a date, comes to you by. Kevin Williams. So Vava is someone. Who was once a victim. Like you. And through time. And Halan. I was Able to move forward. I feel like that shit is dope, man, because of course we can't help. What happens to us sometimes, or there's certain things we can't help. And you don't want to stay. In the energy Misery or bad experience. Joel dispenser, one, one method. He taught me. Um, was. So then that gives you a bad feeling. You pretty much. Bring whatever happened before to your present time? And I know it's not easy. Trust me. It took me a long time to get to a point. Well, I feel like, um, Mentally in a good place. And I've been there for awhile Yeah, man. Cause. You know, it's, it's, it's so easy to stay a victim. Uh, and. Sometimes people play victim. and they don't And some people take their life for granted. And of course you don't have to. And. Then you have certain individuals that were on the verge of losing. In their lives. Or. Officially. And. Got another chance to tell. The story. I always find that I always found those stories. Uh, because there was Time where I didn't appreciate or care for life. So I wanted to hear the stories of people that pretty much. Lost it and got another chance. That may me appreciate my life. Way more You know, the possibility of. You know, there's a place. That you feel nothing, but. Love and acceptance. Um, And you know, why you here. You want to make sure that you feel love and acceptance and give love and acceptance. Uh, Yeah. Make the best out of your life, man. They always ask that question. Died tomorrow. Would, would you be happy with. You know, How you live your life and my ass right now will be no. happy about my family, my babies, you know? Everything I'm doing. My family friends. Um, there's, uh, that I Haven't seen. And I feel like the world's not ready for. But at this point, I don't give a fuck cause. The Become that version. Uh, Everything gets. For me. And most importantly, my kids, Man, like. It's a whole different ball game. When you become a parent man for real. But You know, uh, I got somebody that. Uh, experienced something tragic. And, his story. Uh, were lucky enough to get them in the Uh, to tell. You know, to tell his side of. The story of what happened. Um, in the nightclub. The pulse nightclub dope conversation. I was, I was. I was at the edge of my seat. I'm editing this shit. So. Yo enjoy. Enjoy Enough about that. Let's. Get into the episode. Back to life. Back to reality. Bank

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

So, you know, we doing things a little bit different on the Raymundo show. This season, we, we opening, you know, we're gonna be more than self-help this season. and you know, today back to life. Oh, wait. On this episode, back to life. Uh, the purpose is a lot of people take. Life for granted and it's cuz they expect to wake up every day and you know, not too many of us are blessed to not have a, a big experience, change that. On this episode I got a, I got a survivor of the 2016 Paul nightclub shooting. since then, uh, he's been, uh, uh, he's been using his voice to advocate for, uh, Latinx people of color, um, and the L B GT Q communities and uh, as well as survivors of crime and something I learned recently was, uh, about the something about blood. But we'll get back. We'll get into that later, but let's introduce the special guest to the Raymundo show. Let's give him a warm welcome, Jeff. Welcome to the show brother. how you doing today?

Track 2:

I'm all right. Or right on you.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Good, good. Can't complain. You know what I'm saying? Uh, it's a beautiful day. Got to enjoy some pool time and barbecue with the baby. So Yeah. You know what I need to do? I need to, I like, you know, speaking about, we were speaking about, um, you know, our Spanish, uh, Spanish heritage and it just made me feel like, yo, I gotta add that aspect more to my show. I dunno, I gotta find a way to, you know, ask some salsa a little bit. I ain't get a little to the, to the twist. yeah, man, there's always a party, but, um, so let give my fans a little bit of, uh, background about yourself telling where you from, um,

Track 2:

Well, um, originally from up north, uh, my dad's family's from the Bronx from New York. My family's

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

book, boogie,

Track 2:

grown the bogie down. Yes. Uh, from Treemont, Treemont and Webster.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh, they from the real Bronx

Track 2:

yeah, that's my dad's family. And then my mom's family, uh, came straight from PR to my dad's a Newan, you know, he speaks fluent English and Spanish like us. And then my mother as Puerto Rican and she came to Connecticut, When she was younger and her teens and, um, to, to the Hartford, Connecticut area. And from there, uh, mom, mom, like she still a accent. Never.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

I love those. Yo I love the Puerto Rican accent, man. Um, if I'm I'm from, uh, Brooklyn, New York and, uh, Bushwick

Track 2:

Yeah. Yeah. Rosie Perez from there.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah, she is.

Track 2:

Yep. Yep. So that's where, um, my family originates from. And then, um, we, uh, ended up in mass, you know, over time we ended up, my family ends up in mass, in central mass, you know? Uh, and, and that's where, um, I mostly grew up between there and those areas like

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

said, so Massachusetts,

Track 2:

back, and forth between all those areas, you know?

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

you said, So you said, you said Massachusetts.

Track 2:

yeah, central mass, I'm a mass, I'm a mass hole. So, you know, Boston, you know, anything. Yeah. So anything outside, anything outside of, uh, to most people outside of, outside of the new England area or the tri-state area, Massachusetts is just Boston, freaking. They even consider Connecticut Boston, New Hampshire is Boston. Like, you know, I, I talk to people out here, you know, I'm in Florida and I'm like, you know, you tell somebody Massachusetts. They're like, what's that? And I'm like, Boston. They're like, oh, okay. Just go around saying like Wooster or something. Like it's not.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

That's true. Um, from my perspective, oh no, it was about the, about mass I'm from Leinster. And when I had a baby shower, everybody was like, yo, what's Leo minster. Like what, what? Like, they, they were like, so everybody thought I live in Boston. I'm not gonna lie before I moved here with my girl, like I thought it was the opposite. Like Boston was the state. Massachusetts was the,

Track 2:

Yeah. yeah. Yeah. You know, lemon, Clinton, uh, Wooster, all that Springfield. I got family all throughout those areas actually. No joke. Um, probably like of the Latinos in those areas are my family. Not kidding, not kidding. The blood relatives, relatives. So yeah, my family's big. My mom has 11 brothers and sisters and my dad has nine and all my aunts ands combined have like, uh, three to seven kids each. So that's a lot of cousins and, um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

So the family parties was lit. Ah,

Track 2:

up north. Yeah. Up north, everything,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Coquito

Track 2:

all, all that. And, and the cool thing too, is that I got, I had, I was, I had a very special privilege that I got go to school. I mean, public school, but I got to go to school. A lot of my cousins, like lot of people have that.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Bro. That's

Track 2:

school with like sometimes 15 of my 10, 15 of my cousins at the same time. Like this one's in my class, this one's on the hall. Like I see three of them at lunch. Like it was cool to have that, like to have my actual family and the cousins I chill with outside of school at home were all in school with me. Like, that's so weird, you know, not everybody got that. And it was cool too. Cause you know, we all had each other's back. If anything was to go down, then I knew.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

was. already like, yo,

Track 2:

it was already deep. We was protected already.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

this guy

Track 2:

yeah. People tried to mess around and I could handle my own, you know, when I was younger, but like, uh, you know, and, and I always stood up for myself, but you know, so there sometimes people who would say certain little things in the hallway, like, oh, look at this. So they say you're derogatory, you know, comments. And then they're like, yo, you're like chill like that. So, and so's little brother that, so, and so's cousin. And once they found out who my cousin were, my family was, they were like, They're like, yo, Hey, what's up? How are you, Papa? You know, they all

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

everything changed.

Track 2:

Oh, now you friendly. Right. Cause you who related? It's crazy.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. It's but y'all man and high school is always, uh, it's always a different story for everybody, man. It's crazy.

Track 2:

Yeah. Yeah. It's different. Yeah,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

So what do Okay, cool. Cool. Um, yeah. So, uh, so what do you currently do now?

Track 2:

Um, I, I travel as a guest speaker. I have done events with like survivors from nine 11 from like the Vegas shooting, um, and other, uh, tragic events and, and it's weird. We've all kind of become like a little bit of a family of sorts, uh, over the years. And, and we, uh, uh, we, we travel as guest speakers for different events and paying forward. And I also, um, like I, I also work with several programs with the LGBTQ and the Latino, Latinx community and people of color, uh, as well. So we're doing all that, you know, that kind of stuff. And I got my hand in a few cookie jars. And then, um, uh, at the same time I've been the poster child for the blood banks. I've done, uh, documentaries with them. I've done. We just did an event last. With them and, um, I'm always doing stuff PEAC.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Congrats. Congrats on. I heard about that's awesome. That's awesome.

Track 2:

amazing opportunity. Thank you. Yeah. So, uh, you know, it's cool. You know, someone like from the projects gets to share a little bit of their story of their life story into, into a TV show. So that's, that's exciting. And, and, and they did it very well, you know, so then it, it's not copy word for word of my life, but they use elements and

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. Yeah. I, I like that combination, you know, like, cuz everyone loves to know about, you know, everyone likes to cease things that are like are real and it doesn't have to be real to the tee, but real enough to relate and be able to, you know, get something out of it at the same time. So, but that yo that's dope. Like to go from what you went through to yo like you are a consultant on a fucking TV show, man. That's

Track 2:

yeah, it's

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

That's why you, that's why you can never give up, man. You never know.

Track 2:

Absolutely. You gotta just. Get there. And to have that opportunity, I was very grateful and to work, you know, with talk with the writers and the producers and have meetings and, and them asking, what do you wanna see? What do you not wanna see? And that kind of stuff. And, um, and they respected, they respected our input, you know, cuz it was me and a couple other, several other consultants on there. But out of the group of us, I was the only injured survivor. who was part of the group. So I'm that, that put of those things into, into the mix did a good job. A

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

That's what's up, man. Shout out to them. Shout out to them for real. Let's give a shout out. for respect it, man. Cause

Track 2:

yeah,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

way and that's, that's all you can ask for you. Don't gotta love us. Just gotta respect us.

Track 2:

correct. correct.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

um, I wanted to get into, you how, how did your day start on the, on that day?

Track 2:

Well, um, that day started, uh, it was June 11th, 2016. It's a hot summer day. And I remember my homegirl V uh, she's Greek. She was like on her break from her medical school and whatever. And then my boy angel, and then my boy angel, who I've also been friends with for many years. So, um, me and V ended up meeting a couple of her friends at some bar, some wine bar and we all had a good time and there jumped and yeah, uh, friend of ours, uh, a couple, uh, and we up at this other, the final bar, which was at that time was a, it's a gay bar. We were all these straight bars. But then we ended up at this bar cause they had two drinks. So we were like, we were like, let's go. You know? And

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

some money.

Track 2:

yeah, most of my straight friends, they don't care about that. Like whatever we, we vibe with whoever. So, um, so we went.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

I'm sorry. Sorry to cut you off, man. And I also wanna make sure that, that, you know, people know that's on the Raymundo show. We believe in love. Love is love, and we don't care who you love as long as you happy, man, cuz that's all that matters is at the end of the day, you know, I just wanted

Track 2:

all that matters.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

that's all that matters.

Track 2:

all that matters really. people wanna, Hey, that's on you. Like I straight or luck, like y'all wanna fight, but OK. But, but, you know, but yeah, so, so absolutely. You know, and, and, and, and, you know, us being already, uh, marginalized for being people of color, you would think that, that we would be a little more understanding and sometimes that most of the time, that is the case, but sometimes isn't, you know, and, and, um, you know, we know how it feels still to be, you know, at, you know, um, excluded and stuff like that. But anyway, so we was out there and, um, we were having a good time and we were drinking whatever. And, and, um, we were like my homegirls, like, Hey, why don't we go do a Latin night? And I'm like, uh, straight a gay. And she was like, it doesn't matter. I go wherever. And I said, okay. And me and the guys started talking about it and whatever. And we were like, OK, you know, have a good night. And true. And we were like, yeah, you know, and then, so we told the straight couple to come with us. And his wife was very like sloppy drunk. And she was like, you know, whatever. And he is like, yo, like, I wanna go with you guys, but I can't, I gotta like take her home. Like she's, she's falling a bar over here. So when we saw her yeah. When we saw her, we were like, yeah, you gotta take her home. So he, they left and thank God that that happened because had she gotten that kind of drunk over there and they had come with us. I honestly don't think that, that they would've, or she would've not, she, would've not probably made it. Like, I, I, you know, who knows,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

crazy.

Track 2:

it's just a thought, you know, in hindsight, think about it. Like, yo, like that was like their saving grace for them not to be there that night when you look back. Right. So, and, um, so we ended up there, it was pumping, the music was going, you know, they had like two rooms and then an outdoor patio, three different DJs. And you know, the music's pumping, everything's going good. The drinks are flow. We're having a good time and actually have some family, um, in that area of mass near where you at Fishburg area. And they had just visited me out here. And, we went to pulse. I took some of my cousins there and um, our summer jam that that year was Drake. One dance, all I need is one day, you know? So, and, and so, because they had just left the week before, you know, we in, we in the club and they're, they're, they're. Uh, the song, I, I did a video and I sent it to my cousins and I was like, they're playing jam, you know? And I was just singing along and pointing to the camera, you know, the video still have those videos. And, um, I sent it to them and then my, the plan was after the club, we were come back to house to watch, uh, the new Xmen apocalypse, which is not the best sentiment movie, but, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

no. I'm like, like if you would've knew you would've waited, like you would've, you would've been like, you know what? Fuck, fuck that movie.

Track 2:

Yeah. Right. So, so that was the plan. But the original plan was after the, when the, we

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

I'm shit's work, man

Track 2:

We ended up gonna the club and everything was, you know, flowing. I did the video and then my boy's like, yo, like I'm entire, like, let's go. And I'm like, I'm like, wait, wait, wait. You know, my summer jam is on. And then the DJ mixed it into a second song, which ended up being Drake's other summer jam that year, which was controller. So, uh,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

control. Yeah.

Track 2:

So when he did so, so I was like, oh, hold up my other summer jam. And then I did another video, send it to my cousin, like, yo, he just your other song. And then my was like, he's like, you know what? I'm get a, and we went and he went to go get a, and I went with him and then we told our homegirl, you know, come with us. And she was like, no, I'll sit over here by the speaker. I'll wait for you guys here. She was just standing on the speaker, you know, looking around whatever. So we went to the bar, uh, we bumped couple of friends, you know, I hugged, some of them gave a hug and kiss. Like I never thought that that would be the last time I would hug them or see them. But,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. That's

Track 2:

uh,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

man.

Track 2:

that was the last time I saw those, those friends. Yes. you just, you never think of that, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. You don't want to, you know?

Track 2:

yeah. You know, you're just like, oh the club, whatever. I remember, I used to make like EDM mixes. Right. And I, and they were like, yo, like, you need to make a new mix for us cuz everybody at the loves your mix. Cause they had a hair salon that they worked at and I was like, yeah, yeah. I'll make you some more, you know, whatever, don't worry about it. And you know, but I never sold them again. And then, um, roughly about between like 10 minutes or so when we walked away from my homegirl, uh that's when the shooting started and it just, you know, the DJs mix and hip hop mix and you know, hip hop mixes, a lot of times use sound effects like gunshots and stuff

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh yeah. So sometimes you can get like, I mean, you wouldn't think a real gunshot, you know,

Track 2:

we thought, I thought it was the mix at first. We all did, you know, we're like part of the mix it continued and, uh, once I heard it continue, I was like, now those are, you know, like not now go wait a minute. Those are shots. And

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Where, where were, where Like where in the club were you at at the time?

Track 2:

um, I, okay. So there's like the main room in the center, which is the main club. And then to the, to the side, so it's three different rooms. So I'm in that room. you know, we was waiting for our drinks and, you know, as soon as that shooting started. Uh, like I said, at first we thought it was the music. Then it ended up being shots. And then people started hearing the shots, continued, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, you know, like, so people started screaming and panicking and over each other and right away, you know, we thought, at least I thought it was a battle between two parties. You know, usually when there's a shooting in a club, it's usually two people shooting at each other. Not like that. You know, it's rival

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah, yeah, yeah. some gang shit. Yeah. Some gang shit.

Track 2:

Either gang shit or, or, or, or just a jealous lover or you

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. Yeah.

Track 2:

revenge, just some kind, you know, someone you pissed the wrong person off. You never

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

So, I figured that's what it was never. Did we think that it was someone that was there to deliberately kill all of us, just because like, you

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

crazy,

Track 2:

that it was a mass shooter, terrorist type dude, like, you know, out there to kill, you know, Latinos and LGBTQ, like we never thought you never think that, you know, that's not something you think about. So, so, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

see it happen. You I'm sorry. You see it happen. There's always some fucked up shooting every year. And

Track 2:

yeah,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

to think like, yo damn, I'm in the middle of this thing. Like this, you know, like again, I'm sorry you went through that man, but continue them.

Track 2:

no, absolutely. And yeah, like, you know, this is stuff you, you think about in movies, you know, you see on the news, like you, everything is gonna happen to you, you know, and coming from the projects, you know, you, you're not. No, you're not a stranger to violence, you know, you've, you've heard, you've heard gunshots. You've seen people get jumped, you've seen people get stabbed and you've seen all kinds of stuff. And so it's, it's not a stranger to that, but it was just it's the, this is different.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. This

Track 2:

type of level. Like, you know, mass shooting, terrorists type stuff. There's a different level type of

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah. Yeah. That, you could never be prepared for some shit like that.

Track 2:

Nah. And, and so, so what ended up happening? Um, you know, once everything happened, I, I made my boy get down and my boy he's like six, three, he's a big dude. I'm five, nine. But he wasn't brought up. He wasn't raised the way I was raised. He doesn't come from the projects or anything like that. He was raised in church and raised, you know, somewhat sheltered. And he's not used to that kind of lifestyle, these kinds of environments or events. So, even though he he's bigger than me, I felt protective of him. So I made him get down and I made him like, where the bar stools go under that little bar part, you know, like sticks out. So I made him duck under that and I still stayed up looking. Because I wanted to see what was going on and I'm trying to see, you know, even though I'm putting myself at risk, but I just wanna see I'm one of those people that has, I have to see, like I have to see what's going on. And it's kinda like that story in the Bible, you know, when God told everybody to leave the city and don't look back and this dude's wife looked back and she turned into a pillar of, so that that's gonna be I'm our soul have, it's like, gotta know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

So,

Track 2:

looking around and like the was still shooting in the other room. And no one had come in, I'm expecting someone into our room, like looking for cover and like, you know, like suit and be like looking for cover, coming into our direction, like, you know, like trying to like get away from the situation, but nobody came. So again, it was, it wasn't a two parties fighting. So. The shooting continued. He got undo. And he was like, yo, Jeff, I wanna go to the bathroom. I wanna go to the bathroom. I'm like, nah, nah, like we can't go to the bathroom because if we go to the bathroom, it's a death trap. There's no windows, there's no doors. We're gonna be like sitting ducks. Like there's no escape. And we don't know what's going on. And he's like, I don't know. I don't know, Jeff, like I think we just go to the bathroom, like, you know what? Go to go, go, go to the bathroom. He said, come with me. And I said, nah, like you go to the bathroom. And he's like, OK, okay. He's like, just please come. You know? So I, I, I went to, he went to the bathroom and right in front of us, like a little to the side in front of us, there's an

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah.

Track 2:

And when you's a little mini hallway, when you go down that Archway, there's the men's bathroom and the woman's bathroom.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

And he went in, I saw him, he ran, he went into the women's into the men's bathroom. So he did that. he got in there and I stayed behind. So now my initial intention was to, I, I had done an event there before, so I know the employee exits where the dressing rooms are, all that kinda stuff. So I'm like, I wanted to make a run for it that way, but I saw it kinda, people just were rushing that way and it kind of bottleneck like. I, what am I gonna do? Yeah. I can't just be jumping over people's heads. Like, he'll see me. Or, or he, or she, I don't know who, who, whatever. So I don't know what's going on and I'm like, I can't go there. I can't go out the main exit. Cause that's where the shooting's coming from. So I'm like, fuck, like I'm trapped, you know? And like, I'm, I'm stuck here, like under the bar, like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Like I'm looking around. And then I see with the corner of my eye, I see, you know, like a pair of legs coming, you know, walking around the corner and there's, I remember seeing some people over there and I saw, uh, them get shot and you know, I heard them get shot and I didn't look right at them, but I could see what the point of my hair, you know, pop, pop, pop, and they was dead. And I'm looking ahead of me. And I see, uh, some young black guy and he was dressed in all white and he was like, like, like, come, I got you like standing outside the bathroom doorway. He was like, yo, like, come on. Like I got you. And I was like, you know, trying to tell him, like, I think the dude's coming. I don't know if he caught that. But I was like, you know, like, and I'm like, I'm gonna have to make a move. Cause after he shot these people, this, this he's gonna make, he's gonna come my way. And I got nothing on me. I'm not strapped or anything. So I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And I was just like, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Man, but, but you were able, I don't know, like from what I'm, you were still able, like to process, cuz like, I don't know me. Like there's certain things that like, it takes me a while. Like I can get, I can freeze, like I can get caught like today, like the, like the pool flipped over and I, and I, I couldn't, it took me a while to be like, oh, I gotta lift it up. So the water to start filling. But like to be in something that serious is to still be able to think, man, it's like, that's where the fear that's where the fear helped you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You was flying. You was flying. Yeah, you was. Yeah.

Track 2:

Oh, when I just come in and just start shooting them, random people, I was like, wait a minute, like, what's going on? Like, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

takes a while to process,

Track 2:

I saw, like, yeah, like I was like, I was like, okay, wait a minute. And then I'm like, okay, sign's not right. But I saw these dudes come through or the dude come, you know, signaling me. I was like, fuck. And I was just, I, I counted to myself really quick. 3, 2, 1. I did that twice. I was like 3, 2, 1 go. And then I was like, 3, 2, 1 go. And I went and I ran across and I thought he was gonna be like, pop, like just get me on the side of my ribs or something. And, and I, I ran across, I made it you know, we talk a lot of shit about people in horror movies when they run and they trip and fall. Well, it happens that shit happened to me. Like I trip that I. And I tripped and I fell. I was like, fuck. And he, he just put his, you know, hands onto my arms and lift, threw into the, I was like, got in there. I'm just looking around. I see the urinal. So I straight the, and I'm thinking it's probably like three or four people there. It was like 15 or 20 of us in there,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh shit.

Track 2:

packed in and, and, um, you know, I see everybody and I see angel and angels with he's like underneath the sink, you know, the handicap still has a sink in it and their own sink and the toilet and the, the napkins and whatever. So, he was under the sink, just huddled and there was another person next to him to the side and there was a little space there. So I went where he was at and he was like, Jeff, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I'm like, like, I was like, relax, you'll be fine. You're not gonna die. Like, cause like I'm still thinking

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Like we gonna be good. we gonna get through.

Track 2:

didn't what was happening, was happening. I was like, this is you. Or these two people gonna shoot each other down and it's gonna be a rap and it's gonna be over. They're gonna, whoever kills the other's gonna leave. And just like I, you know, and or whatever, they're gonna attempt to shoot each other and move, move on with it. And, um, you know, that was not the case. And um, you know, I just kept telling to calm down and next thing you know, um, the guy comes into our stall and he shoots over the stall and under the stall, I forgot to mention. Backtrack right quick before he came in another young Latino dude, or it could have been black cause he was dark kinda like yo your complexion. So it could have been Latino, black, I dunno. But he was a skinny, younger dude that he came in after me. I was already with angel and he came in under the store and he just dove, you know, that gap underneath and he dove in, but he was like this, you know, like, laying sideways, but his back was exposed to the

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

exposed.

Track 2:

So when you walk into the bathroom, you

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

first thing you see

Track 2:

on the bottom of the stall. His back is what's facing you out. So he shot over and then he shot under and I remember just him, you know, getting shot and he just, you know, we, I'm looking at, he's looking at us cause he's facing inward to us in the stall. And uh, we were just like, like, fuck, fuck, fuck. You know, like we were just a shock, like to see that. And I just, you know, I think about that. I dream about that. And um, you know, he didn't deserve that, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Nah, nah, not at all,

Track 2:

you know, it's just stuff you think about. And um, he shot

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

to forget something like that, you know, like.

Track 2:

Yeah. He, he shot over, he shot and then he left, um, when he shot over. I, I, you know, I have cousins who have been shot and then, you know, they live the street life and they've told me when you get shot, it's like a heat, like hits like that.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

Real

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

It flick you.

Track 2:

of heat felt that in my felt that I was like, I've been hit, I been hit, I been hit. And I was like, but I didn't panic. And I looked over to my thigh and had like dark jeans and, um, I could see it turning maroon, like, like a puddle. So I was like, oh shit, I've been hit. Like I, you know, I'm bleeding out and I was likewhatever and you know, like you, yeah, I'm, I'm, didn't

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

man. You was able with that man. You was able to be strong enough to so he can be fine, man. Like that's, you know, that's much respect for that. I mean like, yeah, like you had, like, you knew you, like you had to be the strong one and you was shot, man. Like not, not too many people could do that. So like I commend you for that man, but yeah,

Track 2:

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. So, so, so I just kept, it kept my composure and I was just. You know, just like, fuck. And, and that rush heat is there and it didn't hurt too much, too bad, but, you know, I knew what was bleeding out and I know sometimes you, you have like a, an artery or vein, you got the main vein in your artery, in your leg and the other one in the other side of your body. Right. So, I was like, I was hit, but as I said, it's my leg. I think I'll be okay if it's that artery, I need to get to the hospital quick or I'm gonna bleed out and it's for me. So I was like, but I think I'll be okay. I'm like, I think it's gonna be over in 10, 15 minutes will be fine. I could like be sent, they could take me to the hospital. That was not the case. Uh, we were trapped in that bathroom for three and a half hours.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

what?

Track 2:

I B out on the half hours, but, let let before I,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah, of course.

Track 2:

so, so he went into the other bathroom and, you know, my legs bleeding out and it it's it, like I said, it hurt, but it didn't hurt too bad. But then I started feeling almost like a numbing sensation in my leg. And then I'm like, we can hear other people's cries for help. And, you know, saying like, please don't shoot me, please. Don't. And, uh, he wouldn't even let them finish their sentence. Like we could just hear them, you know, pop, pop, pop, and just, it was quiet. So we are hearing this happen. And as a person. This tends to be a little feisty and, you know, wanna do you wanna do something about it? Right.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Of course, of course.

Track 2:

cause you handicapped yourself. So, you know, and it just sucked to be in that position where you are jacked up and you can't do nothing. And some of the people in our stall were, were hurt or dead at that point. and we couldn't do much and we couldn't get out there to help them. And all we could do is just sit there and hear for their cries to help and killed off, uh, most of them. And, its a terrible feeling to know you're right next door and you can't do shit. It's a terrible feeling. It's a terrible feeling. the shooting continued throughout the club and you know, random shots here, random shots there. And how do you say, you know, some people in our, our bathroom were, there was some dead bodies, there was everybody like what are we do? My guy everyone's like, sh be quiet, be quiet, be quiet. And after our little bit, uh, had passed, we heard what sounded like, uh, the police walkie talk, like the police had come to rescue us and we were like, you know, you know, like 10, four, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, like that kind of stuff. And, you know, some girls like, oh my God, but the police here, they can help us with like, no, no, no, no, no. Like we D. Who the fuck is out there. Like everyone's like sh quiet, quiet. Like we dunno who that is,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Take no

Track 2:

you know, in and leg hurts and hurts and hurts. So like know to it together. We need to be quiet. Okay. I'm like, cause we don't want, we dunno who's out there. We dunno how many of them they are. We D know what's happening. We need to keep it quiet. And um, everybody said the same thing to each other, like sh and we're keeping quiet. And then we heard that, that sound like the, the talk sound get closer. And this one girl got very excited, uh, like not, not in a good way, but you know, like, like we're in here. Like, she was like, we're in here. She's like help. And she's like, I've been shot with people dying. She's like, I don't wanna die. And she just started screaming all this stuff out. We were like, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up. Like, you know, and, and she just, yeah. So what she did and she attracted the dude to come back a second time. So yeah, he came back a

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

crazy. I'm I'm over here thinking you hearing the cops, I'm thinking that is

Track 2:

yeah, I know it was him. So I guess he had a, on him or something. I don't know. So, uh,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

think like that. That's crazy, man. That's.

Track 2:

So she started yelling, she panicked, you know, the people react differently in that situation. And when he came back, um, uh, she was standing up and he shot her, uh, on the side of the head. And on the side of body, he was just like, fell back on top of me. And she fell on my lap. And, um, uh, she found my lap and all I could do cuz I was up, you know, and I'm sitting down on the, um, in a puddle of my own blood, but I'm just like, all I could do was her as comfortable. And she could, if she was just kinda like shaking and looking up at me and on my, you know, I'm just like you knowing her,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah,

Track 2:

say it's, it's at know hearts deep. It's not gonna,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah,

Track 2:

know, that situation. All I could do was say that to her and make her as comfortable as

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

that's possible. Yeah.

Track 2:

position, that's all I had access to. That's all I could do physically. And, and, um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

when you got a good heart, man. That's what you do.

Track 2:

oh man. You know, thank you. It, it just, it was, it's hard, you know, I dream about her. I didn't know her. Uh, I find out she was young. She was in early twenties, you know, she was a med student and, um, I found out later and I met her family and stuff later on. And you know, like her mother met my mother and all that stuff like the following year. So that's nice. But you know, it was, it was very hard because, you know, I've been around violence and you know, we I've been at hospitals when family members died, they older and stuff and doesn't make it any easier, but it is different in that situation. It was a different feeling. It's a different sensation to ask someone, get, you know, lit up like that and just, they fall on you and you just, you know, it was a, it's hard, it's hard, you know, I, I dream, I dream about, and I dream about that other and a few others and, you know, you know, and, and, um, uh, but like I did, I just made her and then she passed away, you know, after like about a minute or so she passed away and, um, um, uh,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah, Take your time, man.

Track 2:

after that, um, uh, we heard him reloading his. And he was laughing and he had said, uh, he was speaking like, you know, he said some stuff in English and he said some stuff in Arabic and, uh, he reloaded his gun and I thought to myself, he didn't get us the first time. He gonna make sure he get us now. So, you know, it's a, it it's a weird, it, it was a prepare for, for the end. You know, we, we back stuff against the wall. There's a lot of us in here. Uh, they got the advantage him or they, cause we didn't know, but there was just him and more coming, but you know, he's reloading and we can't do nothing about it. And there's no else to run. It's literally like a horror movie when you're trapped in the corner and the zombies are coming for you and you gotta nowhere to go. It's a wrap. Like it was that feeling that, that rush, like we trapped, that's it. And all I could do was, you know, I kind of like closed my, my lips and I closed my eyes and I like, um, set up quick prayer. And you know, the, I thought about my parents, I thought about my immediate family

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah,

Track 2:

sorry, I'm just trying to like, not get emotional. Right. So

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

no, no, listen. Yeah. I, I totally understand, man. I feel emotion hearing it, you know, like,

Track 2:

I did a prayer and, uh, and I closed my eyes and I prepared for the worst. And, uh, he's just started shooting through the wall, you know, pop through the star wall. I kind of peaked, you know, you kind of do little peak and I just, like, I braced myself and then I peaked as I'm hearing the shots I still had, even to the end I had to look. So like, I, I, I, I peaked a little bit and I could see the holes forming in the bathroom and the bathroom was black. And I remember it was like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. It was like a Zig pattern, you know, like it was like holes were forming like that across. And,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

How long, how at this point, how long was this? I mean, I know every time, time moves different in that type of situation, but like, like if you could put like a time that how long from the time he went to the store that he left and came back.

Track 2:

I don't know. I would think it would've been minutes. Maybe, maybe like 10, 15 minutes or something like that. I think

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

cause after, after he shot, he shot our bathroom. He shot the, the women's bathroom. And there was a lot of people in there. Then he left and started shooting around the club again, and then he came back to the bathroom. So when he left the bathrooms, the original bathrooms, he went, you know, shooting around the club. A good, like, I would say like 10 or so, between 10 to 15 minutes maybe went back before he,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

And, you know, you know, what's, um, you know, when, you know, when you see a alright, let's, you know, when you see like a movie and you know, the part like Scarface, I hate when he dies at the end. Right. But I always hope, like, in my mind, I'm hoping that somebody comes and saves him before he gives the shotgun. Like, so I'm hearing you say the story and like, I know it's already happened, but like, I'm like even hopeful now. Like, damn, I wish could somebody come in? Like where the fuck is the cops at? Like where like,

Track 2:

they were outside and they were trying to assess the situation. I know a couple of them had had gone inside, but that, that club is like a maze. Um, it has a lot of weird wa uh, Archway, you know, openings and doors and hallways that lead to different places. And for someone who's first time going there, they're not gonna know the layout. And, um, it can be very confusing. And, um, so I would say it was probably 10 minutes, 10 to 15, but I think maybe less probably now that I'm thinking about it probably was less.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah, that's what I'm saying. All of this could have happened in five minutes. Cause everything

Track 2:

Yeah.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

you don't

Track 2:

it was, it felt slow motion for us, but. When he shot the stall. More people died, um, in our bathroom. And that's when I got shot in my neck and my stomach in my foot. So in, in my leg. Yeah. So

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

So,

Track 2:

neck stomach in my leg. Yeah. so I got shot more times and then right there, my boy angels, like Jeff, Jeff, you're bleeding, you're bleeding. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't wanna tell you. But the adrenaline was so high that I didn't even feel getting shots.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah, they

Track 2:

First shot the others. I didn't. So, and, um, he's like, you're bleeding. You're I'm yeah. Didn't was like, was like, no, no. He's like, you're being here. And when I went like that, like, it was like it literally T into his face and he was just like, was, oh my God. To myself, went into the hole hole, whole, no joke. Like it was like, ah, like I

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

crazy.

Track 2:

I. screamed like out loud. I was like, ah, like, and then I was trying to cover my mouth. Cause I'm like, fuck, like, I don't want this dude to come back second time, a third time. So I was like, oh shit. And it, once I saw that, I was like, I kind of like somewhat gave up. Like I was like, it was, I don't wanna say I laughed, but it was kind like, like, of course it's gonna happen. You know? Like,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Know what you mean? Like,

Track 2:

yeah. I was like, I was like, that's it like, that's it.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah. I mean, who could blame you? Like you've been shot? what, at this point, what four, five you said, was it five times? Four times? Like, yeah, I would they say you see your life flashing before your eyes? I would, you know what I'm saying? I would think that that hap, oh, that really,

Track 2:

tell you that right now. Yeah. So

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

all the way through,

Track 2:

not, everything in, in the same.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

you know,

Track 2:

Yeah. So, so when, when that started happening, when I came out and I was like, wait a minute, like, like, yo it's I got shot in the neck. It's a rap. Like ain't coming back from this. So I, I was just like, well, whatever, like, whatever, you know, I was like, I didn't even want think, but the blow was coming out so much so fast. And, um, my, um, angel says my eyes rolled to the back of my head. My eyes became white. I went like that. I kinda like got, I got really like drowsy and I went white and I fell back. And what ended up happening was I was a toddler at my grandparents' house and I'm at I level of that age. So I'm seeing it through my eyes of myself as a toddler. I'm that age at that level. And I'm running around the sofas and I'm seeing my grandparents playing like peek with me. And I, and I remember that, but I forgot about that. And I was, I was seeing memories that are so far old and locked away that you forget you even have them

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Wow.

Was good. Yeah. I'm proud and happy to announce that. All three Patrion tears is up. Each with its own. Per can benefit. You want more moon? No, you get more mono. virtual version. I tried to be a little bit reserved. You know, on the regular platforms. But each. T it puts you more in depth. With who I am and where I'm at to go. So. Sign up to the show. Go to www.patrion.com. A forward slash the Raimundo show. Sign up is pretty easy. yeah. And I'll see you there don't just meet me there. Greet me So Snoop dog But anyway back to the show

Track 2:

and get emotional. When I think about it, cause my grandparents are no longer here. So it was like, you know, it was nice to see that and to feel that, and I could smell the, could smell the, smell it. Yeah, it, I was there at little bit above the sofa level. Like I could see it, I'm that level on that height. And I'm running around, I'm playing with my grandparents and it, and then all of a sudden I was in high school walking outside of school with my friends and my cousins, you know, to the bus stop. And then all of a sudden, I, it was something I did the week before, like as an adult. And then I went back to something in my childhood when I was like eight or nine years. You know, playing with my brothers. And then I went and then it went back to something when I was an adult. And then it went back to something in my teens and it was like jumbled pieces, memories of my life, stuff that I remember, but I had forgotten about. And it was like coming back to you, like, it was like a flip book going back and forth, FRA FRA, FRA, FRA, like, and it was going, like, I don't

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

it was deep.

Track 2:

It was like the

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

it was oh, okay. Okay. Like the multi

Track 2:

you know, it was weird. Like I was like back in different verses, like the marvels was, you know, when I think about it, huge Marvel that to

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. Same here. Same here, man.

Track 2:

yeah, so,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Strange two was fire. Nah, but that's a

Track 2:

right. So, so I was, you know, was seeing all these flashes of my life, but in different moments, it wasn't like from birth all the way to what was happening at the moment. So, um, I know other people I've had it like that, that wasn't my experience. Mines was jumbled. And then, when that was happening, I hear Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, and then all of a sudden, I, I was like, I was back in the bathroom again. And angel was like, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. And I was like, huh? He was like, he's like, bro, I lost you for a minute. He's like, your eyes rolled back. And I was like, he was like, you were like, not listening to me. And I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I just had like a weird experience. But anyway, right away, I asked him like, where's. Was our homegirl V I'm like, where is she? Where is she? Like, you know, she, we brought her out tonight. Like, what if something happened to her? Like, what if she got shot in the dance? Oh my God. He's like, all of was, is that? And I'm like, yeah. Was like, where are you? She was like, I'm here. She's like, just can't. So she was to my right further on the other side of the bathroom, under bodies.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Did have voice give you some type of like, like life, you know, like just

Track 2:

yeah

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

someone you love so much, like

Track 2:

was like, wait, what's you, you know? And then she was like, I'm here. And she's like, but this, she was under a couple of bodies. And when you think about it, dead weight is dead weight.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

That way.

Track 2:

weighed one 50, that person weighed 200, another one weighed two 50 that's, you know, bodies that that's weight on you, you know, is literally what they call dead weight. And so she, what had happened was, uh, some of the people, when she got into the stall early, before we got into the bathroom, she was already in there. And some people came in after her. So when the guy, you know, kinda together, so when the guy shot through, he shot the people in almost everyone that was in front, her died. So, and then they kind of collapsed towards her and, um, which in a way, protected her, if you think about it and.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

She finally squeezed through, she made her way out. She was com covered in blood. She did not know if that blood was hers or all the other people. She didn't know anything, but she's a ER, med student she's

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Um,

Track 2:

to finish. She's about

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

she knew what to

Track 2:

she's in the know she's a ER medic. So of all people to be trapped with, very, very lucky that it was her that we were trapped with.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Thank God.

Track 2:

when she saw me, she said, are you okay? She was like, she was able to out. And she was like, are you okay? And I was like, she's like, well, you been shot. And I was like my leg. And I looked and I was like, I think my, and then I was like in here and when I put that down, you know, the, the blood came out again. And when she saw that she was like, no, no Shering. And she, when she came out, she was like, okay, okay. Okay. Like she started like my guy ring that shit. Like, she was like, she took control of the bathroom. She's like, you put pressure on her. You, she took off her bra. She started like, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh man. God bless her.

Track 2:

stuff off to tie things. Some you tourniquet, whatever, like you tied on him and put this on her. And, and we had a cup. We had someone's cup from a. And we had the sink, so the sink was still working. So we were like, you know, she was like, here, give water to this one. And you know, we were just, she just took control of that bathroom, man. Like, she's a true deal with the band hands, no equipment. She did what she could to keep us alive. And it was myself and several other people. Um, but the time kept ticking and you know, the hour goes by the second hour and then she's talking to negotiators outside and she's like, what's going on? Where the fuck are you? She's like, where the fuck are you? She's like, I'm losing people. She's like, I can't keep everybody alive. I'm doing my best. Like where are you? Where you at? Where you at? Like where you guys at? And she's like, why are you taking so long? And she didn't tell nobody in the bathroom that one other, a Spanish dude to her were in the bathroom with the negotiators outside. And they didn't wanna tell us what was going on. Cause they didn't wanna panic us. So what ended up happening is the reason they were taking too long. One of the reasons is because the, our shooter was holding kind of a hostage and he had threatened that if we did, if they did do anything stupid that he put bombs on the cars outside in the parking lot, he said it's enough to not just blow up the club and blow them away as well, but it could blow up the whole block. And that includes innocent people sleeping in their homes. So, you know, when they got that info, they don't know if that's true or not, but they gotta take that as serious as a serious. Warning, you know, because now they gotta walk on eggshell with this dude lasts like, fuck, you know, like now we gotta like, not piss this dude off. It's a for everybody. So, so now whether that's true or not, they gotta kind of play nice with this guy. So, so Vivie didn't tell me this and neither did the other dude, but, but in her head she said, when she's like, let's taking so long and when they explained it to her, she's like, uh Uhha. And I remember her saying, aha, cause she was next to me, but I couldn't hear what they were telling her. And she was like, oh, okay. Like her voice broke. And she told me later on and her head, she thought we're gonna die. She's like, that's it. Once they told her about the bomb situation, she was like, we're gonna die. She was like, it's a wrap.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

she lost hope. She lost

Track 2:

Yeah. Yeah. She was like, that's it like, you know how these dudes be like? And so, so it was just like, that's what happened. And, and um, you know, eventually the, the police came in and they're trying to like, we can hear them. And then my boy angel makes, he starts squirming his way out into the, under the stall. And he's pushing bodies to the side, pushing bodies and he's, he got hit in his legs. So he's crawling with his elbows. Know, and there's broken glass and cups and all kinds of stuff all over there's blood. There's all kinds of shit all over the floor. He just elbow it, like, you know, just to get out under there. And I'm like, we were like you where he was like, I'm gonna kill. Kill was like, like, he was like, Jeff, if don't you're gonna, he was like, they need to know that in here. And you're bleeding and there's other people dying. He's like, know he's like in here he's I gotta let them you. So, uh, he went out there and as soon as he went out, they yelled at him. When he got out the bathroom, they're like, put your hands up with your fucking hands up, put your fucking, and he's like, I be like, lift up your shirt, lift up, take off your fucking shirt. So, you know, cause they don't know what's going on either. So they gotta be careful. What if my boy is a decor acting like somebody like, oh, I'm her next thing, you know, pop, pop, pop. You know what I'm saying? So you

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

so, so they gotta, you know, they yelled at him and as I'm hearing them yelling at him, I was getting mad. I was like, I'm there bleeding out all jacked up. But I was like, you know, like I was

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Like we, the victims over here, like, fuck is you talking about?

Track 2:

But from their perspective situation, the way it was.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah, not in the moment though, in the moment I would've be like, fuck y'all man. Come save us, bro. Like,

Track 2:

yo, I was pissed, you know, and, and, you know, I'm, I'm kind of going in and out. And angel angel goes out there and they, you know, he lift up his shirt, they see he's a victim and they lift him out and two cops carry him out and he was taken to another hospital, not the same hospital I was at. Uh, I, we were very lucky. The hospital main hospital, the main trauma hospital was like two or three blocks from the club. It's like three, two or three blocks from. So it was very, very fucking lucky. And, um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

made a difference. Of course.

Track 2:

yeah, so, so, so he went out there, they took him in and I was trying to text my brother. My brothers are here, you know, putting his son to sleep and he was playing PlayStation. It was like, you know, two, three in the didn't believe.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Damn man. That must have been, that must have been real, like, like painful to even have to say that, you know what I mean? Like, cause you don't like, yeah. Yeah. I can't even imagine, man. I can't even imagine what you went through, man. Like again, again. I know you heard a bunch of time, but I like, I'm sorry you went through that, man. I really, I really am

Track 2:

Well, thank you man. It's, it's a it's appreciating. Thank you. Thank you. And. Um, but yeah, yeah. You know, um, I said my goodbyes, cuz that's all I could do. And then I was trying to tell my brothers, my brother was in New York, he's in a party. So he didn't hear his phone and the other ones at home play PlayStation for his son to sleep and I'm texting him and I'm like, yeah, make sure he's like, yeah, right. He's like, yeah, right. Like, okay. Yeah. I'm like, no I'm for real. And my brothers and I, we prank each other a lot. Like we do some crazy pranks, but I would never prank something that serious at two, three in the morning, you know what I mean? And, and you know, we usually do say to each other on Halloween time or sign, it was the summer. It was June, you know, it was two, three in the morning. Why am I gonna bake up some prank like that? And then my, the blood all over my phone screen. So I'm trying to take a video of what was going on in the bathroom and you know, and all the dead people around us. So I could, so he could believe me. And I, I, what I ended up accident, my phone was wet with my blood. So what I ended up accidentally, accidentally sending him was a picture, not a video. And he saw the picture and he was like, yeah. Okay. That's like you and your friends pretending like all piled up on each other. I'm like, like you stupid like this. He knows all my friends. I'm like, do you recognize anybody in the fucking picture? Like, like that's, I don't even know of these people. So, and like, he was just, he, my brother's very like that. He's very like. He's like the people in the movies and you're like, oh my God, you know, the zombies are after us and the cops like, yeah, right buddy. Like they he's one of them, like what you call, um, he's a believe nothing. so

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

He don't believe what he can't see

Track 2:

yeah.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

like one of those,

Track 2:

from me thinking, it's a joke. I'm like, yo, it's the truth. But you know, I was like, and when he was making me mad, not believe in me. It's true. What your parents say to watch your blood pressure when you get upset? Because when he wasn't believing me, it pissed me. So the fuck off that my blood supported out my neck with harder pressure and waited rush of heat. Like you were holding that lighter to it. It was like, you know, like it just came out like,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah.

Track 2:

um, once I saw that and I was like, you know, pissed off, I was like, like, I was like, I gotta calm down, gotta calm down. So I gave my phone to homegirl. I was like, yo, just here, like handle my phone. Like I'm I can't do the phone right now. Like I'm not, you know, I was like kinda losing it, you know? So I was like, you know, she was doing what she could to keep us alive and everything. And these people started dying and she did the best. And next thing you know, they send in this R two D two robot type thing into, into the bathroom and. I could see the tires, the wheels, like, like underneath the store. And I'm like, like I thought I was seeing things, you know, and, and then we hear talk they're we're you, you know, to get as far back to the furthest wall, you from this, from where, and I'm like, what's going on? She's like, they're gonna rescue us. She was like the, the, the, the SWAT team and the, the bomb squad or whatever, they were like, they're coming to get us. So they used that, that SWAT truck, whatever, to smashed into the wall and it wasn't working. So they had to de and they put bombs. So they put bombs to explode the wall where the toilet and sink against where the toilet and sink were. And, and, they, they, they were like, you know, block your ears and get as far back. And they were dragging me, her, and a couple other people who weren't shot. They were just like dragging me and dragging to the furthest wall. And they're ears. This point, my body's numb. All I feel was my right hand. Everything else in my body had done. And I'm like, I like my dude. I was limp, like paralyzed. Like, all I could move was my neck and my, my right hand. That's all I can move. And I had no energy. And, and, and before they did that, uh, was smacking. Cause I was like, I'm sleepy. Like I just wanna go home to go to sleep. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's like, don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. I'm like, I'm like, but I'm so tired. She's like, you're not. She's like, you're losing blood and your pressure's going low. She's like, if you fall asleep, listen to me. She was bating me. I'm not, she's like, listen to me. I'm like, uh huh. She's like, if you fall asleep, you're gone. You're gone. She's like, and we got plans, right? I'm like, yeah. She's like, where we going vacation? Where we going

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Aw, that's

Track 2:

like, we're Puerto Rico. We're Puerto. She like, that's right. So you gotta stay alive. Cause I can't go by myself. She like, and she was like, and I, I would drift off. And she was like, fuck,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Whole lot.

Track 2:

she was hitting me hard, like an ex-boyfriend type shit. So she was like hitting me hard. And I was like, ah, she's like Jeff. She's like, I'm sorry, I gotta hit you to keep you up. She's like, listen, you gotta stay. Okay. Stay with me. And I was like, okay, okay. Yeah, stay with, and then, you know, we moved to, and the things they exploded and I'm what's going on. She like, they have to bombs to us, exploded wall was, and they did that like two or three times. when that exploded the whole wall, you know, the holes in the walls, like the walls exploded, the toilet exploded the sink. So the pipes were like, so you had fresh water, toilet, water, cement debris, you know, metal, the mixture of people's bloods. It was a fucking toxic

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh, my

Track 2:

We were all in a fucking puddle of toxic mess and, and, and they had to get us out. a few people went out the whole first and they're like, Jeff, Jeff, like, you need to get out first. Cause you're really bad. And I was like, I can't, I told him my speech was slurry. So I was like, can't, you know, I'm I was conscious through all of this and she was like, we got you, we got you in her, a couple of dudes, some Spanish dude to Moreno. Like they, they, they lifted me up and they put me in the hole. And I remember the, the, the first responders ripping me through the hole and I got scratched. Like, you know, it's all broken concrete. Some like was like,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

God being shot. Wasn't now.

Track 2:

I got all scratched up, but they, they gotta do what they gotta do to save me. Right. So they threw me into, into I'm I'm towards the end of this. And they threw me on the grass. I remember the grass, everything was wet. I guess the water was squirting out there too. So everything was wet. And I was like, my back was wet. And then I just looked up and I saw like three or four, like guys, uh, girl, whatever. They picked me up. I dunno if there was first responders or random people or a mix, but they just picked me up and they threw me into the back of a cop. I was by myself. I know other people were put together, but I was by myself and he was like, I get you, I'm gonna get you there. I'm gonna get you there. It was one cop. I remember looking at him at the seat diagonal to, to the front seat. It was a white dude. I didn't. I didn't know his name. I still haven't met him. I'd love to shake his hand, give him a hug. But he was like, he was like, stay with me, buddy. Stay with me. That's all I keep hearing in my head, stay with me, buddy, stay with me. And he was like, he was like, like, he was like going overs and shit. I, I was like, like, man, he was painful. And, and, and he did what he could, it was fast. He was like, and then he opened, you know, whatever the thing. And they took me and they passed me over to some paramedics. And I remember looking, and I could see the back of the ambulance with the red and neon yellow strike doors and, and, and I could see all that. And then next thing you know, I'm in the hospital, like I'm going in. And I, I hear the doors opening like that swish, and I'm looking up and I see the white lights and I said, okay, I'm in the hospital. I made it. Cause it's like white light space, white light space. So I was like, I'm in the hospital. And they're like, what's your name? And I was like, Jeff, Jeff, you know, like Jeff. And I said, huh? I was like, yeah. And they were like, OK. uh, they asked me my name and they're like, OK. You know, they were talking to me and I remember my right hand touching my cause. I wanted to see if my wallet was still on me. Cause if I died, I wanted to be identified and I wanted them to tell my parents and my family. So I could be identified that. Last thing I thought of, and I was like touching my wallet and I'm just like, my hands are like, you know, beside me, like I'm stretcher like that. Right. So I'm just like, you know, but I'm touching you. I'm my, like that touching my pocket to see if I feel and felt said, and in my head I kind thought myself, okay, I'm good. Like, you know, they can identify me, but then, they put the mask on me and it's that with the cold air. And it's like blowing cold air and I started coughing and I ripped off they're, that's helping you breathe. That's helping breathe. And I was like, can't breathe. It's too much. And they put it back on me and ripped off a second. So they they're like pin his hands down, put his hands down, they pin my hands down and they put it on the third time. And I went into a cone,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

oh, okay.

Track 2:

I didn't wake up till two days later, I found out that within less than five minutes of my arrival, I died. Uh, I had respiratory failure. Uh, I had hypothermia, even though it was the middle of summer, I had hypothermia because I had bled out. So your body gets cold without the blood. I bleeding out from two main or like main veins or arteries for three and half hours. So I bled a lot and I received over 40 units of blood. uh, I'm sorry, like, I didn't mean to stretch the story out, but I just got too detailed, my bad. Um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Nah, it's okay. It's okay, man. Like, like I'm, I can't even think about right now, but like, as you telling the story, I'm like there, like yeah, I'm seeing it. Like I'm, I'm all I keep thinking is like, yo, if I could go back in time and save everybody, like I would do that, man. Cause I remember I was living in Miami at that time, so I'm driving and I'm like, I hear this. And I'm like, what the fuck really, bro. Like, like I, I remember I got so mad and usually we all, when this usually a man shooting the hero in me, wish that my superpowers, that I could save people before that happens. Like if I could save the kids, if I could save. Yeah. From what happened to you in that, in that club that night, if I could save whatever, man, I, I really wish I could, you know what I'm saying? So

Track 2:

Yeah. I wish there's times I would. I would, you know, there was someone else that had a gun or that I was trapped, you know, and, and even after everything that's happened to me, people think I'm against guns. I'm not, I'm still pro I'm pro guns. So, so

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah.

Track 2:

uh, uh, had look at that, had any of us been strapped in that situation, or even a couple of us that would've leveled out the brain field, you feel me like that we could have probably handicapped him or took them out or something. And we probably could have saved more people at a faster rate, you know? So, you know, we could have done things quicker, handled things quicker, and like, I look back and I get so angry about it, you know? It's sad, but it more than anything, it makes me mad. I get angry. When I look back at all of it, it just boils my blood, all of it collective. So, so what ended up happening is, you know, I got to the hospital and, uh, later on the doctor said, you guys are very lucky. The hospital was right near the club. Just had that shit been on the other side of town or whatever. You, you guys, a lot of you would've have made it. He was like, especially you. And I was like, why? He was like, cause less than five minutes of your arrival, you were out, you had respiratory failure, you had hypothermia, you had blood out for too much. You were like, you had no, no, nothing. You, I was dry and jacked up. So it was, it was a rap for me. And um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

they brought you back to life

Track 2:

they bro, they pumped me right in, pumped me up and, and uh, with my blood and whatever. And then there ended up happening with the shooter. you know, after all that, they, he ended up, you know, you got like 10 cruisers with cops, you know, pointing at you and you come out, guns are blazing. You already know

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

You know they're gonna kill

Track 2:

Yeah. You know, you going down. So basically it was suicide. You know, you came out to let pop think crazy, like a and eight took him out. And um, and that was the end of that. But, I woke up a couple days later and um, I'm, I'm looking around and it's the room is dimly lit and I look all around. And I'm like peeking, you know, I'm and I see my father, I see my parents, one of my brothers, I see friends from the club, friends from high school. I'm seeing people that I haven't seen in years and people that I don't even know my family from the club scene. Like I'm like the only time people come together, like that is that. So my dude, I thought my, I was like, oh shit, I could see my wake. I

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

wow.

Track 2:

I was like, I'm my, and then the room was dim lit, I guess, dim you of my condition. before I jumped out real quick that it took 16 hours to find out who was dead, who was alive. My father made it to the front of the club while I was still in the bathroom. he was at the front lines and he was like, I wanna go in there. My son is in there. Let me go see my son, let fucking, like, my dad was like, he was the first one there, like, and the cop was, you need to calm down. We're sending everybody to we're sending everybody's, you know, but he couldn't. And, um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. Like I need like, yo, I, I, well, I got newborn. Well, they're not newborn no more, but I got eight month old twins, man. Like I, I got that's exactly. They look, they look a, he didn't come from the fucking on like, like squat, like SWAT type shit. You know what I mean? Like

Track 2:

Yeah.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

the kids, man, it's it's, there's no love like that,

Track 2:

That's exactly.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

shout out the man for real.

Track 2:

my father and I pretty close, but you know, growing up, my dad wasn't, you know, we're Latino. So being the gay son, wasn't always the cool thing, you know, it was, you know, then we have a ma our, our, our culture has a big macho complex. So being the gay son, like my dad, wasn't always down with a lot of the gay stuff in my lifestyle, you know, my life. So, so he didn't always approve of a lot of things, but for him to not care about that and show up, he lived an hour away for him to drive over and be there at the, and that just speaks volumes that,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah. Yeah man. Yeah. Cause that's, sometimes it's just, you know, like it's just the culture, you know, like, like people get sucked into like, you know, what people think, not, not what the most important thing is is that you're happy. You know what I mean? But like, and not, not, I'm not cheating your dad. It's just, I get that. Especially the, you know, the generations before is,

Track 2:

They're little, they're a little different and especially if they're religious

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah, yeah. They see. Yeah. Yeah. You add that to the mix and it's tough. Yeah. so how long did you, how long were you in the hospital?

Track 2:

Um, I was in a hospital bed for six months, but I was in the actual hospital the first time, um, a little less than three months, like two, two or three months. And then the rest of that, I was healing at home. Um, it was nurses coming at home to my house, taking care of me, my parents and friends taking turns, the nurses would teach them how to clean me, how to take care of this and that like, like, and they were like everybody, a effort, my family. And,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

How, how, how crucial was it to have your support system there? And even people that don't even know you just showing so much support and love, man, like

Track 2:

uh, it's very, very important. I, it, it meant everything because without your family and your friends, your true friends, You know, my, you know, my true rider dies people I grew up with who was there, wiping my ass. Like, you know, like that's, that's, that's a true friend. You see what I'm saying?

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

That's a real fucking friend. That's a real

Track 2:

friend. You see what I'm saying? These are people who were there. Some of my homegirls homeboys, you know, like people I grew up with, they were there and they were like, there, like cleaning my wound, clean my, wiping me, like everything, like, you know, and taking, making sure my mother and my father could go take a break. They're like, yo, go home and rest. Like, we got him, you know, like we, we be that like, don't worry about, but

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Cause you know, you know, parents like, no

Track 2:

yeah. And sometimes they need a break too. You know, they need a break too. It's a lot. The thing

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

mm-hmm

Track 2:

right quick is that when, when my, when I woke up that the day, my brother was like, he's waking up, look, he's opening his eyes. And, and I looked, when I thought it was my funeral and I was like, and then he grabbed my hand, my right hand, the only one I could feel. And I felt it. And I looked at him and then I looked to my right and I see 'em connected to the machines. I was like, in my head, I was like, oh, I'm in the hospital. And then my brother was like, he broke down, crying. The one who didn't believe me, the one I was

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

plays

Track 2:

And he was like, he was like, it turns out that after we hung up, he thought about it for a little bit playing his games and then he Googled it and it said like live news shooting. In in the club, whatever. So he woke up my parents and then they fucking, they drove out here. So, and that's sort of how they ended up there. But, um, yeah, he was like, he broke down crying. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't believe you, bro. Like, I'm sorry. But like he just kept saying, he's sorry. Sorry. He didn't believe me. And all I remember and what they remember as well is that they, I went like this. I stuck my middle finger. Yeah. Right. Him stuck my middle finger and then passed. Right.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Was like,

Track 2:

But like, like you, like, he think he gonna be alright. And, um, and the sad part is my family kissed me. Goodbye. You know? Um, after I came out of the, the surgeries, uh, like my family, they gave him a few minutes. They kissed me a goodbye. I was knocked out of a coma. Um, I was in a very grave situation. They didn't think I was gonna make it. And they gave my parents a few minutes to, to speak their peace or whatever. They came, they kissed me goodbye. And then they walked away. They didn't think they were gonna see me again. And then two days later I wake up and you know, here it is, I stuck my middle finger. And then, they, they lied to my, my mother, my mother had to fly in from PR and they, my brothers tore my mom that I was shot in the shoulder. And that's all they told her cuz they didn't wanna panic her on her flight.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Of

Track 2:

to the hospital, she was hounded by the news and paparazzi and all that shit, like, you know, blah, blah, blah. You know, they're like with microphones on her face. And she was like, my cousin was trying to like take her in. And they're like, yo, like step off, you know, like, and they brought her in. Mommy's like Sando. And then right there, my father and my brothers told my mom the real situation and then the real condition I was in. And then, you know, she broke down crying and it was just a shock to host system. But yeah, you know, I was there for a while. I healed, uh, I had to extensive therapy, you know, physical therapy over time. I had to

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

like 12 surgeries, right?

Track 2:

12 surgeries over the last, uh, like five years or so. I had to, um, learn how to walk again twice. I, I had, you know, metal rods in my toes, like Wolverines clouds, like to go all the way in

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh shit.

Track 2:

them, them rods go all the way into the bone or the back of your feet, like into the, into like here. cuz my foot, the nerves made him heal like a fist. So they had to like set, I couldn't wear sneakers. I had to get one shoe, one size and another shoe, another size. So they're like plan B gonna and like, and stick rocks in.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

how, how good did it feel to like go through all of that? And then, you know, like I got, I got feeling back. I, I can walk again, like

Track 2:

Oh, I didn't. I was able to start walking a little bit at, you know, after like the first, during the first year with a cane, you know, I was in a wheelchair for a while. And from the wheelchair, you transferred to the cane and then with the cane, you know, eventually you let it go and you're good. Uh, I, I couldn't go up and down steps. I had to keep using elevators and things like that. Even when I was walking, I couldn't bend my leg. So it was, it was a pain in the ass. I felt like I had like a Pirate's leg, like a wooden leg. And, uh, another thing too, was that when I was there in the hospital, they, they told me, you know, they came in and they put like this thing with a machine and touched my, my, where my wound was at my calf. I'm you got three muscles in your calf. I'm missing the middle piece. Um, because they couldn't keep it open anymore. It got gang, like gang greens, it got, it turned black, it got necrosis. So they had to, it turned black like this, my muscle. So one of them, and they had to scrape it out and clean it out and they had to close me up and they had to take skin from one side of my body to close that up. So they did that. But what happened was I, they put a machine like thermometer thing next to it, and I to hear it on the speaker going, wow, wow. You know, like a ultrasound. And, and I'm like, what's that? They're like, oh, congratulations your legs. No longer paralyzed. was like, what. I was like, what are you talking about? And then my they're like, we'll let your family tell you my brothers. And my dad were like, yeah, like, we didn't wanna tell you, but they were gonna amputate your leg from the knee down.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh shit.

Track 2:

I was like, what? Like, I didn't to that. And um, they're like, yeah,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

like,

Track 2:

we didn't know how to tell you yet that we didn't know how to tell you, but now, you know, uh, thank God it's not happening. You know, they, they were able to save your leg and, um, you know, I had to learn how to walk and, and you just transfer over. And then, and then after you're walking again, I had more surgeries. So I was back in the bed and back in a wheelchair again. And it was just like, you know, I was in and out in and out. And that went on over the years. It's been crazy ride

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

I can imagine, man.

Track 2:

I've ER, four this year injuries.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh from there. Okay. Wow. That's CRA. Wow. I, I didn't. Yeah. Um, that's crazy, man. I didn't, I thought they'd take them shit out, you know, like once,

Track 2:

Yeah. They were able to take,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

no, I'm sorry. If it's too deep, then can't risk

Track 2:

they

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

it out.

Track 2:

yeah, some don't take out some, they don't. So they took out, they took, um, uh, two were taken out. The other two were left in, so

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

did, did you, did you experience, uh, survivals survival remorse? Um, I, I, I hear that a lot of people have that once, you know, they,

Track 2:

survivor's guilt. Uh, yes. Uh,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

the yeah. Was good.

Track 2:

yeah, a lot of us still deal with that on and off it comes and goes, you know, we got the PTSD too. And I come from a military family as well. So PTSD I'm familiar with, but I didn't, you don't know what it's like until it happens to you. So like now I really get it. So, but, but besides that, you know, the survivors remorse so guilt, um, yeah. There's times, you know, when you think about it, uh, you know, why, why, why was I spared and, and why did my friends not make it cause out of, out of the 49 that died us. I lost six of my friends. So six of the ones that passed were my friends. And, um,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

It's crazy.

Track 2:

you

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

to hear that again, man.

Track 2:

I didn't know that until later on. Cause my parents didn't want me to see the TV. So it wasn't until like the second week that I was able to, I was like, turn on the TV that I, no, no, we don't want you. I'm like mommy, turn on the fucking TV. Like, you know, like, and you know, like, like stop, I hate like I was like, stop babysitting me guys. Like, you know, like, but I understood, you know, and they turned it on and they were doing one of them, candlelight vigils, they were repeating it. And they did a show of everybody that died.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh, you saw your friends there.

Track 2:

my friends' faces up there. I was like, no, I saw another face go by. I like, no, no, this isn't real. Like I saw another face. I'm like, no, And my homegirl, who was in the bathroom with me, she was, she was like, Jeff, it's true. She was like, it's real. She's like, they're.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Damn man

Track 2:

She was like,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

sucks,

Track 2:

both, we both broke down crying. My, my father was there. My mother was there and her, and we just all broke down crying. My parents were crying too, you know? Cause they saw

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

man.

Track 2:

they saw me witness that for the first time. Cause I, it had been a couple weeks, they were already buried. Like the funerals had already passed, but I was, I didn't even know, you know, cause I, I was stuck in the hospital, so, and I couldn't even say goodbye or nothing, you know?

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah man.

Track 2:

it's hard, man. It's hard.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

I can, I can, I can't even imagine, man, like again, sorry. Sorry. Attitude, man. Cause you know, we, you know what I'm saying? Like we always hope for the best and think the best and you never know when there's. It's gonna be your last time seeing, you know, someone you love. Cause we all have a, there's a date. Right. But you don't want that date to come sooner. You know, you don't want that date to come before. It's supposed to, you wanna be old as fuck. Talk about my hip is fucked up, you know, cuz it's understandable around. I mean it's never gonna be easier, but it's understandable around that time. so after everything happened now, like you you're able to, you know, go back home. How, how was trying to find some normal after something. So, so, so horrific, happened to you?

Track 2:

That was hard. Believe it or not. I got so used to being in the hospital that when I got home, I felt uncomfortable in my own bedroom. Like you would think ID be ha uncomfortable, right? Like, you know, like I wasn't comfortable. And I was like, I need to be back. I, I was so used to the routine of the hospital and the beeps and the nurses and everything coming around like that. When I got home, I was like, like, I didn't know how to, like, it felt weird, you know, kind like a person who been in for many years and they come out and they still feel locked

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

It locked up. Yeah.

Track 2:

could, you know, it's a little different, but it's relatable. You know? Like I could relate to that now. Like, like, and I wasn't there that long, but I was there long enough to know that when I felt, when I was brought back home, I didn't feel comfortable my own crib, but, you know, I got used to it. Um, getting back into normal normalcy, it was, it was, it was hard, you know, cause you know, again, like for the first year or so I had, you know, couldn't really walk and I, you know, it was just a lot and even after I was healed and I started walking, uh, I didn't have feeling in my leg, in my, from my knee down on my leg that was damaged. I didn't have feeling on it, uh, for two over two years later.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh shit.

Track 2:

it was numb. Numb like numb, but if you, your sensations were off. So like, my mom would go like that to my foot and it would feel like she's holding a lighter burning me. I'm like, ah, you're burning me. You're and she's like, I'm like, I'm like, you're burning me. And she was like, my sensations started, you know, the, the nerve started reconnecting, but your sensations were all off. Everything was all outta whack when I started getting, but for the first couple years I had no feeling, um, I could walk and move and everything and it, but could, so there were times ILA on slip and on, and I'm the other's barefoot. And my like, what's the other track guy? And I'm like, oh shit, I, I hadn't even noticed. Didn't couldn't, didn't, I'm just the other, like, you know, that was couldn't I didn't know. And, um, you know, I go at the PTSD, you know, you go to Disney to bring my niece and nephew with my parents and we're taking to Disney I'm in the safest place, on their, you know, mass security where I'm surrounded by little kids in of night. Right. And S took the, and the was smelling the powder and I was back in the bathroom again,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh shit.

Track 2:

I had to run and hide and I literal. Had to go run into the nearest bathroom. And I was huddled like this, like in a, in a position in the, in the, in, in the handicaps to places. And I, and I was just there waiting for it to be over. And when it was over, I could come back and it's the weirdest thing. Cause I'm like, what are you doing, dude? I was telling myself, I'm like, you know, you're at Disney, surrounded by little kids at the freaking cast, watching a firework show. Like, what's wrong with you? But my body was saying something else in my mind, I knew what was going on. My body was like shuttering was reacting to the after effects of what had happened to me in that bathroom. So that's PTSD you, I'm saying. And, and you know, that's why went with war soldiers and stuff, you know, they kind of black out it space out and they start talking weird things from what happened when they was in the war. And you're like, what, what are you talking about? And they're like, oh, you know, they just, you know, they kinda spaced out and it takes them back to that moment. And now I relate to that, you know, now I get it. And it

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah,

Track 2:

actually, to me several times,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Does weed help?

Track 2:

happen I'm

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

I don't know if you, I don't, I don't know if you smoke weed. I just, I was watching, um, I don't know if you watch the boys on Amazon.

Track 2:

that's

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yo, did you see the recent one though? Have you, have you seen the one today? I mean Fridays?

Track 2:

boys back and I don't wanna make no spoilers, but you know, they, they already know about that, but I don't wanna say the spoil at

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

No, no, no. We I'll cut this part out, but so, um, right after everything, like, um, like now you got a second chance at life from, from, from that moment, like what did you start to do? What, what, what started happening for you? Cause like I know from there that's when you started doing all the things that you mentioned earlier.

Track 2:

um, I got, I'm usually a not political person. I, I hate politics, but then because of the gun law situation and gun rights and all that, I kind of got thrown into the mix. So I became like a guest speaker, as you know, I got to speak in Washington, DC. You know, I got to speak, you know, at the capital in different places and, and, you know, different organizations and people are like, you know, they want you to speak or they kind of want to use you, you know, to, to, to, to spread a message, which could be great. But a lot of people wanna use you for their own agenda too. You see what I'm saying?

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

yeah. You gotta be

Track 2:

one good thing that I, I am grateful for when I was healing. At home in the hospital is that the survivors from the Boston bombing came to visit me at the hospital. And some of, and, and not just me, a few of us and homeboy came through

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Rob Ronk. Well, not Brady.

Track 2:

Tim

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Oh Tim Oh, Tim te yo I love Tim Teo, man. He's such a good dude, man. I, I was hoping that he got another chance, but they never gave him another chance, man.

Track 2:

yeah, he came, he came through, I got the sent it,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

She actually, my girl, my girl shoulder to me, she showed it to me. I saw it. I saw it. Yeah.

Track 2:

the day there with me and your girl. I knows one. My, when I best friend's joie. Um, she's from there. Um, where you guys at and Jadi Jadi and, uh, him and her son and my boy, like we spent the, he spent the whole day with us, Tim. Tebo just chilling with us there talking us.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

That

Track 2:

we took pictures. We, we just, he was really nice. That was really nice to have to take time, you know, to come and hang out. uh, I don't wanna lose track of that, but, but the Boston bombing survivors, they came through, they walked me through a lot. They said, you know, get ready for the media, get ready for this. Everybody wants a piece of like, be, you know, be, be selected with who you, you know, speak to blah, blah, blah, blah. And that kind of stuff. And, it was crazy, you know, cuz it's true. Like as soon. While I was still in the hospital. A lot of them were like coming likes, like they wanna, you know, and, and some things could be good, but some are just, you know, very like exploitive, if that makes sense. Yeah. So, and, and some of them wanted to come through while I was like, you know, still jacked up and like in hospital, like, you know, I couldn't even, you know, once I got released, everybody wanted to talk to you. You know, I got into thrown into the politics of stuff with the gun stuff, but the truth is, you know, I'm pro guns. And then the time I changes in our country, nothing's changing. Everything's the look, it's been six years.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

And nothing.

Track 2:

The, the, the shooting at the school market in New York, you know, my brother, my, one of my brothers goes to that supermarket. He lives right near. So that's the one he goes to. Thank God he wasn't there that day. So, so you know, all this is like back to back, I'm already expecting the next one. Like at this point I'm kind of numb and I'm like, you know, we had Vegas, we had Parkland, we had this one and this one, and now when the church, this one, a theater, like, it just keeps snowballing snow, but

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

culture now. And it's sad

Track 2:

its yeah, it's become normal and that's, and it's not normal. It shouldn't be normal and it it's just, it's messed up. It's all messed up in the head. Like, so now, I had to kind step away from the politics

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Now where you at today, where you like with everything that happened, were you able to, are you able to feel like you able to find happiness and, and like acceptance in a way of what happened? Like I know sometimes like you could just, this thing's about like, like when my mother died, I still shocked for like three years. Like I was still. I couldn't, you know, I couldn't, I didn't sleep for a long time. Like I was all fucked up for a while. Um,

Track 2:

are you?

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

when my mom died, I was 23. Yeah. Yeah. I was adult and she died of cancer happened right in front of me. So I remember like, that's what I'm saying. When you said that, like you see the face, like she died in front of me and I could never forget the face if I ever think about the face when I'm, you know, when you drift off and you get a flash and I don't know, I get, I'll get a flash and I'll just start crying. Like, oh my God, I can't believe, I just thought about that again. Like, you know, but, uh, appreciate that. Appreciate that.

Malcom:

At this point in the video, we had technical diffculties. Jeff went to Egypt for the first time for his birthday and it was a dream come true

Track 2:

Yeah. Like,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Uh So

Track 2:

like,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

when I go to Egypt, I'll, I'll bring you back so we can share, you know, share experiences and shit like

Track 2:

yeah. Yeah. And the food is great. The people, the culture friendly, they spoke more Spanish than English. Um, and when you think about it, Egypt is north Africa, but it's in the Mediterranean and right across the pond, the Spain, so right. The annually across. So, so Spanish, Italian, Greeks, Turkish, Moroccan, and Egyptian, they're all like right there together, you know? So across the lake from each other. So, you know, they're gonna, you know, they're gonna know each's culture, they spoke more fluent Spanish than English. And that was incredible. And the cool thing is blended in, you know, I'm a white person with blonde hair, blue eyes blend in. So like, you know, you know, So I, everybody was talking Arabic to me. They were all coming to me, talking Arabic. I learned a little bit on the plane, so I knew simple phrases and I was able to, you know, because we, you and I have a bilingual cultural we're able to pronounce things correctly. So, and when it came out, you know, our tongue's role, you know, with it. So, and, and I, I got by, you know, and with my Spanish or with, with a little bit of Arabic, I knew, and, and it was a dope experience. Again, like I said, the food, the people, the culture, everybody was so warm and like welcoming and, you know, it was just beautiful experience. I, I it's, there's no money. They could take that away.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Now, you know, you got a different perspective. Yeah. Yeah. enjoying life, even with everything that happened to you, you're like, you know, like what, what advice would you give someone that thinks, you know what, I can't, that's it, you know, I can't enjoy life after after what happened. So like, I mean, from my experience, I had a nervous breakdown and I, for years I thought that I could never, cuz I went through that, that I would never, and through my experiences I learned,

Track 2:

yeah.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

and I'm in a, in a happy place now, so yeah. Well, what message would you give to somebody who went through something horrific that like, that, you know, can help

Track 2:

it comes and goes, and I can tell you right now there's 53 injured survivors. I only know about. So there's only about 15 of us who know each other, but in the, in and outta the public eye. So that leaves almost 40 others that I've never even met. So I don't, you know, I just met one last year. I met another one for the first time this year. So like every year I'm meeting new ones and some that were shot, some that weren't some that were, and I'm like, oh, you were like, yeah, I was in the hospital, same floor as me. I didn't even know they were down the hall, you know, so, but you know, it's crazy. So some of some, the survivors, I, I, I know about through other friends that I've never met a couple of them. So this day, uh, six years later, they're so traumatized that they haven't left their house. They have to have the family do their groceries and run their errands because they, they don't like to leave their house. you know, everybody gets affected differently and I can't just go up and tell them like snap out of it and look, you know, go and travel. Like you can't, you know, I can't do that, but everybody heals differently. So, what I would want them to know is, again, that they are not alone and that there's other people like you. And in our situation with pulse, there's about 40, almost 40, more of you that we haven't met. So, you know, Out of the 53 injured, there's like 15 that are out and we know each other, the rest we don't know. So for those of tho those that are out there, or even if they see this or here or whatever, you know, or anybody let them know that they could reach out to, to myself or any of us and you know, you're not alone. And, and in our situation is more personal because we were there together at that same place at the same time, you know, we may not know each other, but we were, we experienced something similar at the same place and we come from the same tragedy. So that makes it even more relatable. You know, they, they that to try to do their best, to live their best life because life is short and we can't spend it in fear all the time. And we can't, it's not good. It's not good for you mentally or physically. It's not, it's not, it will eat you up alive, but I understand everyone heals differently at a different pace so we can force them. It has to come from them when they feel it's right.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Yeah. And don't let nobody rush you cuz sometimes people think because they can do it, that you can do it at the same time as them. And that the process doesn't work like that. Even

Track 2:

No,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Sometimes I feel like I went through something, worse than you, but like my worst than you, your, what you went through you might see is worse than mine. So like, you know, who are we to, you know, put it on levels.

Track 2:

Yeah.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Like we just went through shit, let's get through it together. Let's vent about it. Let's talk about it. Cause like, from what you were saying, like anybody who, I knows that their like their mom passed is an automatic. We talk, we, we it's like an automatic bond, you know, through, through something that's hurtful that, you know, you gotta go through at some point, you know, I think what you said. I think what you said is dope, man. Like, you know, you're not alone and, live your life at your pace. know what I'm saying? You don't gotta go through nobody's pace is, is, is on you. Um, but when you're saying now you're not alone. If people wanted to like contact you, you know, see you on your traveling journey to your countries, you should do a documentary about that shit. But that's a whole nother episode, but

Track 2:

Yeah, I got footage. I got a lot of footage.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

record as much as you can and then make a doc of running me like yo Jeff's eccentric vacation. You hit,

Track 2:

Yeah. I yeah. Um, reach out to on social. They can on Instagram, on my, uh, YouTube check on my YouTube and I apologize. I don't, I don't have as much content on there, but I'm gonna be hopefully taking time to put more content together, um, on there and my content isn't just about, you know, pulse or tragedies and stuff like that. Uh, I am gonna be putting out stuff about travel, um, tips like dos and don'ts, um, money tips as well as also, um, I'm a huge pop culture, both. So I love to teach people about, you know, Latino culture and pop culture and, you know, music, movies, TV, and I love to like, you know, educate people the past, you know, stuff that went down in the eighties and nineties is reminiscent today. A lot of the music you're hear today. So I'll put like, stuff about the music back then and come, you know, and be like, this is the original or, you know, TV shows or movies. And

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

though, man.

Track 2:

yeah. And then also, I, I just started a new series, which I only have one episode up it's called Hispanic heritage. And it's just in like roughly two minute clips. Uh, I'll be schooling you real quick on, you know, icons from the past and people you may not even know, or Latino that have done major big moves in, in, in, in media entertainment. And my first episode was George Romero. George Romero is the godfather of the zombies without him. We would not have like walking dead, Michael Jackson's thriller, resident evil, like all, all. He's the one who created that zombie genre, the modern zombie, and he's Cuban, you know, he's Cuban from new.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

would've never knew that. And I'm I'm fan still, even, even after Rick, even after Rick died, I still watch that shit.

Track 2:

Yeah. So, so, and I'm a huge fan and you know, he, he, he, a lot of people don't know it was a Latino behind that. He's the one who started out of the living dead, the old, black and white one. And he put a black actor to be the first leading man in that, in a movie like that. And that was controversial. Cause he did that in the sixties when it was the civil rights movement, you know,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

do

Track 2:

with MLK and, and he was like, I don't care. He was the best man for the job. I don't care if he's back, he's he's gonna be my lead actor. And he did that, a Latino, you know, that we gotta represent that. And in two minutes.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

Gotta represent Phil Latinos, man. We,

Track 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

get left out, man. It's always black and white man, so right.

Track 2:

yeah, so, so, so now I'm making that little series and I gotta get, you know, put more content, you know, again, there'll be some funny clips and I'm, it's doing a lot of different little things, but it's just hard to gather it. Cause I have so much going on right now, but I, I promise I will add more content, but if they wanna.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

um, I'll have the, I'll have the information for y'all on the show notes, yeah, I wanna thank you for coming on the Raymundo show. This was a great conversation. I know, I know you told the story. I appreciate it, man. I, I know. I mean, no problem. I, I know you told the story a bunch of times. I didn't even look at your other cuz I wanted just to, I wanted to just everything to be new, but like now getting to know you man, like you, you are a great guy, your energy is eccentric. you know, um, you know, your courage, your courage and the way you see life and the way you, you moving forward and, and, and not like staying a victim. I mean, you know, you can't stop what happened to you, but you trying to make the best of it and, and you trying to make the best of it. You're affecting a lot of people. And I hope that when y'all listen to this, this makes a diff difference in your day and you see, man, life is precious and you never know. When's your last breath. You never know. When's the last time you gonna see that person. So don't wait till no funeral to get together, get together, call your people, love your people, you know, what'd you call it, um, embrace life, you know, let, let you know, let, let, let, let, let these stories make you appreciate what you have and not worry about so much what you don't have, because I don't know if I said this before, but it just sounds so dope. Um, there's never a U-Haul behind the hearse,

Track 2:

No,

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

take, you can't take the materials with you, but the moments, the memories, the love, that's what you'll think about the people that mean the most to you. The people that, you know, the, the, the memories that made you you.

Track 2:

That's all you take with that's.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

so I wanna, again, I wanna thank you for sharing your story, man.

Track 2:

thank you.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

you,

Track 2:

for having me. Thank you. And, and yeah, you gotta you gotta keep moving forward. It's it's hard. Trust me. I know the first year or two, I didn't wanna do anything, you know, but you gotta keep moving. You gotta keep moving. Cause otherwise the world moves on without you. And then, and then you have nothing to look back on.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

well, I know I'm sure not the only one, but I look forward to seeing you live more life and keep making differences. So again, we like to thank you to be on the way,

Track 2:

Thank you.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

God bless. Uh, we'll have you on another show for, so else, man,

Track 2:

Thank you.

raymundo-back-2-life-1:

you, my brother in the universe.

Sometimes we take life for granted. Like we could just get another one. Or we get the respond. Like this call of duty. But God gave us the best job in the world. It's alive position. We're no Micromass. So management. Just to trust in you. You to do what you need to do. But certain circumstances you can't avoid. But if you pull up some. That self-love. You won't feel the need to fill a void. When you go through something tragic. You feel like it's going to take magic. To make the memory disappear. But the blessing is that you're still here. To face your fears, laugh, learn, and heal your soul. So we've happy or emotional tears. That's about the shit wrong. Being the It's temporary. If you make moving forward to have it. But being the survival, you showed yourself regardless of what you go through. That like Tom, you have a virtual. Life gives. Chances, you just have to recognize the opportunity presented in. The presence of your presence. You never know when your number's. I was going to be cold. So give life, or you have to give. Because everybody dies, but not everybody lives. y'all want to thank everybody for. Joining me on this episode today. If this is your first time. Welcome. If you return in, welcome back. Welcome. Come back. Welcome back. Yo, I want to thank Jeff for centric for sharing his story and. It was a good conversation. It was a tough To hear somebody go through that. But. But, uh, To know that he's doing His thing now and living his best life traveling and. Helping people go through what they went through, man, that. You know, Where everything fucked up. If you've searched. You will find. Something to smile about. And it all takes perspective. Love. Love window Al.